~damastez~

Damastez
2002-07-23 02:51:27 (UTC)

22 JUL 02

its odd knowing my mother has cancer. its not the brick
hitting the face that hurts so bad, its the fact that i
stood there and watched in oblivion as it happened.

you think your mother is made of stone and will last
forever, ignorant to the fact that she's flesh and blood,
tears and emotions.

cancer....what a fuck you are. mankind's plague, vengeful,
feeding off that which we create.

so much hatred, anger. im sorry mom. i love you. i love
you soo much its unreal. you broke your back and blistered
your hands for me to give me everything,
anything, ...nothing. you're such a precious angel that i
could never begin to repay you no matter how bad i want
to. i miss you mom. i miss you already. i hope what i do
makes you proud, and that if the worse of all things to
come, does in fact happen, ..i hope you are proud of me and
what i do and what you created. i know things have been
rough, oh..for about 25 years of my life....my whole
life...but they never seemed cumbersome with you around.
thanks for being my pillar of strength. thanks for being
my mother.

but i shouldnt talk as if all hope is lost. optimism is,
in fact, best. i PRAY you recover...that we slay this
demon, together, and if not, then you alone. i know you
will be fine. you, of all people, are a fighter. now's
your chance to shine. do your best. for me.

i love you mom.




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