Shot

Dirty Fractyl
2002-07-22 21:32:57 (UTC)

MY EPIC POEM ABOUT MY LIFE

I just wrote this, kind of stream of consciousness,
flowingly, without any regard for structure. But it is
pure and unaltered.

"My version"

I am the final version of the man before man;
I have always believed I held the master plan,
That inside my mind,
The secrets I could find,
Could unlock eternity’s gate.

The element of control was no longer,
driven by acknowledged hunger
For an adequate plot
Of eternity’s spot,
On consciousness and human life.

The answer was not pro-man,
Nor was it anti-man at that,
Instead it was ambivalence,
And then a subtle,
“Is there a problem with that?”

In disbelief locked
To consciousness bound
Entirely seperate
From the sound--
Buzzing grate on a mother’s gash,
Is mankind to the earth.

There are those that will warn,
“We are condemned to burn!”
And ask us to join their cult,
But neither Buddah nor Jehovah
Will take you beyond here.
“And why?” you ask.
“Quite simply, young child, they are dead.”

I am the final version of the man before man;
I have always believed I held the master plan,
That inside my mind
The secrets I could find
Could unlock eternity’s gate.

I remember the days,
Recent manical craze,
Having slipped into eternity.
The blinding gash,
Of simplicity’s clash,
With all we had hoped it would be.

We are mere waves,
Our rise and tide,
The events of our lives,
a constant wave,
That eventually breaks--
And crashes--and dies.

“There is no comfort in reality,”
She will tell me in confidentiality;
Gently--I can only comply,
For it is true,
Nothing but the truth,
Can I offer you.

“Where then go our dreams,
Where then go our lives?”
The questions do not end.
Around each curve of the mind,
Lies another query,
Another mystery seen clearly
in infinity’s view.

Our dreams, child die,
As, too, do we;
Our lives carry on through our progeny.

It is the very process of undoing our childhood
To growing to be the antithesis,
That men and women become adults.
This, too, is a sad reality.

Sometimes I vision a world of pigeons,
People ravengengly fighting over bread crumbs,
with no cooperation,
survival for the fittest.
And then I realize we are living in such a world,
And the humor soon becomes sickening.

Society’s greed is infective,
Even the humble seek riches,
And materials become the object,
Of enjoyment,
Of jealousy,
Of suspicion,
Of greed,
The vile elements catalyze a sick reaction in the mind,
Driving men to be arrogant beasts,
And proclaim dominance over the surrounding world.

In every direction
There is construction
to complete this
concrete jungle.

Men ride the utter chaos of the masses
Making glances and rare passes
At ever actually thinking at all.

And yet,
I am a concern because my chemical imbalances?
The irony is almost incalculable.

Yet so goes a world lacking understanding,
Not from lacking humanity,
But from lacking knowledge;
The ignorant pass the torch so proudly.

And yet--
The true leaders sit quiet.
Reality daunts us that the task is futile,
And we withdraw, take leave,
And refuse the pressures of society.

Albeit some may say,
“He threw his life away,”
I likely will be laughing,
before he can next say,
Was I not a happy man
every day before today?

Others bind to the expectations,
Of others;
friends, family, employers,
And find themselves trapped
Into a life they did not choose.

When a bird decides to fly,
It should choose its direction,
If it is a hawk, it will soar to never return.
If it is a small fowl, it will seek its parents.
So goes the seperation
Between those living for themselves
And those living for others expectations.
Only hawks, eagles, and condors can soar;
Strength and size is their virtue;
Similarly, one must acompass his entire desire
To ever achieve the height of his flight.

For I,
The path seems inexplicable to logic,
Yet understanding is rare,
For them to compare
Any thoughts within that range of reason.

A true living planet thriving
Is the natural state,
To live with and amongst it,
Is the best the world can give.

I am the final version of the man before man;
I have always believed I held the master plan,
That inside my mind
The secrets I could find
Could unlock eternity’s gate.

And now that I have,
I take my leave,
Make my last bow,
And the curtain falls.
Beyond the simple plot you saw
My happiness lies.