jenabean

I AM AN OXYMORON

Inconsistencies in my writing have led to a slump in the
production of my creative juices. Once again I am reminded
that sobriety and love do not make for a creative artist.
Perhaps a death in the family, a tornado, or the rise in
popularity of the mullet will send me back into a drug
addicted artisitc frenzy where my inspiration will be the
pain of lost love due to my overeccentric need to make
myself miserable in order to truly identify with my art.
So, as you can guess jena here is very very sober. I have
not even smoked cigarettes. Can you believe it??? - I mean
cigarettes are the calling card of every great artist. At
least in the circles that i work in. Who am i kidding, i
don't work in circles, i talk in them and run in
them...while chasing my dreams like a dog chases it's
tail. I have to ask myself though, is art truly worth
being depressed and miserable? Yes, of course it is. It's
all I truly am and truly have. People will die or leave,
buildings will crumble, your dog will get hit by a car, the
rainforest shall meet the bulldozers, and in the end all i
will have is my creative edge. The words i speak, the
pictures i paint, the sculptures i mold in order to express all of
this harsh "reality" in a way my mind can cope with. To
give it all a semblance of order in the chaotic hallways of
my mind i must arrange my students in a straight line.....
I believe i am touching on the ideals of Nietzsche when i
say, isn't strange that in order to feel whole you must be
empty.......