Jack's Twisted Kingdom
2002-07-21 23:11:39 (UTC)

Bored? I got a solution...

Things to do when you are down...

1. Go into work and tell your boss he's an incontinent
hellspawned bastard of the Nth degree...

2. Have complete strangers join you at the cafe and talk
about abortion, religion and cascade nuclear meltdown..

3. Find a rabbit, and make a stew

4. Call your father, tell him you have been sleeping with
Rick for the last 3 years and your really a crossdresser.

For women, call your mother and tell you have a lump in
your breast and see how fast she comes over and tells you
how much she loves and will always be there even though
she's bitches at you for no reason whatso ever..

5. Call up your grrl/boi, tell them you need to talk. Have
wild great sex and then roll over and say "This isn't
working". Then walk into the bathroom, crash around for 20
minutes, have a shower, walk out of the bathroom, get
dressed and walk out the door without talking to her/him. 5
minutes later walk through the door, and tell him/her you
want to get married and have 2 1/2 children and a picket

6. Call 911 and ask for Bob's Pizza on 5th and Main...

7. Call 411 and tell them there's a guy bleeding on the
road and you only had one quarter and thought you were
calling 911...

8. Get drunk..Go to friends place and pee on thier sofa, tell them
you never liked it and that you'll buy them another one. Go to a
garage sale buy a used couch take it over and deficate on it.Tell
them you don't like that one either, and that they should really look
into buying a better couch.

9. Find a bum on the street, take him home, clean him up, shower,
shave, shit, and then put him your best clothes. Take him to the
local police station and tell them you caught the bastard who broke
into your house last night..

10. Stay in bed and wait until tomorrow, hopefully by then
you'll not be bored...