Life as I know it.
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beating myself up repeatedly
So i keep beating myself up about my mistakes with matt,
yeah im calling them mistakes. Cause look, if he really
wanted to be with me he would have no problem whatsoever
actually trying to hang out with me when both of us are
sober...usually at least one of us is fucked up...not
saying that it would be easy to get both of us sober since
i am unemployed and spend my days getting high and or
drunk. If he loved me as much as he says he does he would
want to talk to me soberly about how he feels instead of
all his feelings coming out when he is drunk.
Other than that I am going to eat n park with alan in 5
mins. Im gonna miss alan when he leaves here in oh my god
a week he will be leaving.....=0( He is the only person
other than mtyself who has messed up sleeping habits. So
who will be there when its 3am and im wide awake? No
one...and that sucks.
Anyway before he beats me down I better go...lol. I have
more to write so that will be another entry.