asidatia

My Life's Thoughts
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2002-07-21 18:24:10 (UTC)

today is july 21 one day since my last entery

Today is a like most others,lazy day........nothing
really to do expect clean and daydream about what the
future holds. Today i'm trying fast,it seems i'm gaining
weight for no apparent reason except i'm eating more than i
usually do,it seems like i don't have any energy,i think
i'm comming to another bout with deppression,i'm trying to
come out of it......it is not the best thing to
experience,and it happens quit often in my life and i can
only hope that fasting will do somthing like maybe that
fresh breaath of air i'm waiting for like
accomplishment,although none of my personal victorys seem
to be big or exciting it almost the i did it just is not
enough gtaditude maybe the hard stuff just did not last
long enough. I should just do it for a week and see if that
does the trick and it might if i do it for a longer amount
of time. i need to try for two days and see where the third
take me and see if i can do it for myself just to see if i
can regain energy. maybe it will do somthing and i only
hope to regain somthing from this experience and i might
hit that old insiration that familar set of creative mind
frame i love so much.
I need a piano to let it out or to get
high and feel as if i did it,"i have it still" i know that
i need to get it out all that mind set that has been
building up and laying dornment. i will leave with these
mind thoghts and try to get it back to my own thoughts the
ones that feel like poetry things i could relate to and put
into a sentual thought somthing i can describe in words
that make sense to me. i think that i will leave with this
and hope for those days to hit me soon,and to have my
obbession back my old obbsession back. things to turn into
my words agian.
have these things that we leave behind our
little treasures things that so many take for granted,
things i always wanted to keep,memories that and talents
seem to just go away,like i can't keep it,almost as if it
never was mine to begin with,that i knew were going to get
me somewhere. things i wanted all for my own i want now to
play and write and feel it things i love, my creative mind
that is disiigrating into somthing.......mush.


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