Midnight

Rain

The sky closed it's blue eyes and wept. Mother nature
has cleansed herself again. If only I could be so easily
replenished... but nothing can wash away this filth. I
held out a small, white hand to catch the falling diamonds,
but they only fell through my fingers, leaving a reminder
of their wet beauty on my skin. Some beautiful things
cannot be held for long. They fall through your grasp,
leaving only a glistening memory on those they touched. A
little of that loveliness always remains, but the tangible
pieces are gone forever.
The "talks" have been had, but LesTaT and I are not
much closer to a conclusive answer. Something is lost...
can it ever be regained? Obviously, we will never be the
same, no matter what happens from this point onward.
Something has been altered, as well it should be. Spyder
is bitter, and with good cause. He is tired of my
indecision. I understand. I, too, am tired of this
constant state of limbo. I'm trying to figure out what is
best for all 3 of us, but nothing comes to mind. There is
no way for me to get out of this without a broken heart.
Either way, some part of me is going to be torn away. Will
I bleed to death from this? LesTaT has hurt me... doubt
this not at all, but I am fragile, and everyone has been
hurting me of late. They cannot help themselves, and I am
hyper-sensitive now. To touch me is to bruise me. No one
understands why I feel this way. They say that it should
be easy... which do you want? What do you want? If only
it were so simple. I feel so awful about all of this. Can
I be cleansed? I am soiled, bleeding, weeping... I stand
here, in the darkness, praying for rain...