Life Sucks
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2002-07-20 03:38:40 (UTC)

im so happy... i love life... NOT

I am so confused why do people screw around with my mind
like this? its driving me insane. i cant take these games
any longer. i give chance after chance but i always get
screwed over. ive cried. ive wanted to die. because of one
person. just one person can mean the difference between life
and death for me. and that one person doesnt seem to care.
sometimes i wonder if its worth all this pain. i try to make
things work. i love you with everythign i am but you are
hopeless. sometimes i think its not worth it, a life full of
pain for your suppposed love. this one thing makes
everything so unclear. you say you love me but i doubt your
truthfullness. do you mean what you say? or are you just
afraid to ruin what we have. lies ruin friendships, truth
starts fights fights can be resolved but lies change
friendships forever. so why do you lie? do you want it to
end? do you want an excuse to fight? i have so many
questions and i dont knwo where to find the answers. i would
die without you but when we are together i cant take the
pain. what should i do? there is no way out. no matter what
my life is hell.

I didnt write this but still:
I've been pushed down so many times
I feel this time will be the last
as I lay here fading
my thoughts are invaded by memories of my past
I feel the pressures of shame and rejection building
as I lay here on the floor
I have no strength to get up
I'm not worth it any more