bugaboo912

MyDiary
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2002-07-19 21:05:00 (UTC)

Today Again

Gosh my mom makes me so angry sometimes. It's so obvious
that she favors my brother. Maybe looking at me just
reminds her too much of Jeff, her exhusband-my real dad.
Well she shouldn't take it out on me that her marraige
didn't work.
Go figure, all the guys are falling over Lori again. When I
modeled it was "preppy",but when she does it its "sexy",
Gosh I don't see what guys see in her. Last year she didn't
know what half the stuff she was doing was called. She's
such a hoe, and everyone knows it. That's the only reason
guys everlike her, BS on personality she's not got much of
that either. All the guys compare us so much, just because
of bust size. She wears padded bras and all the gurls can
see they're fake, but the guys aren't convinced.
Sometimes I think the only reason guys like me is for
my "package". I hate to admit that I do have one of the biggest
busts for our grade, not to sound conceited. And once guys see that,
they are all over me-i hate it, they don't like me for who i am. I'm
not like Lori. I
respect myself to save something things for marraige haha.
She's not gonna have any funon her honeymoon.
Denise and I always talk about how she's going to come to
school with a baby soon. I mean even her mom has made her
take pregnancy tests.
Just last week she gave head to Tye Himler. I mean he's 2
years older then her and shes only 13. She does all this
crap with highschoolers, just because of her sister's
knowing them. She drinks regularly. I can't beleive I was
her best friend. She just goes and stabs you in the back in
the end.
She made out with jake, Who i've only liked for 3 years my
last week there. She was supposed to be my best friend. And
then she goes after that, as though that wasn't enough, for
an encore and steals my bf. I mean Shawn was all I had-I
didn't have anything else. And now he's gone. And now she's
got him doing drugs too. Bitch. Not only does she have to
drag herself into stuff like that but she's pulling him
with her.
Jake is being really Sweet latley to me though. I mean last
week he admitted to liking me these three years, and he
never told me. I got so angry that he didn't tell me but i
know it was hard for him to admit so i didn't say anything.
I mean he admitted 3 days ago to something he's never told
anyone before.. Weird...
I've found a publisher interested in my poems so finally
something I can do that Lori can't. This is my thing, and
if anyone else starts to write I'm gonna be real pissed.
Lori has everything-looks, guys, a horse, she's got a great
singing voice...everything. I'm way too jealous.
I really hope my book falls through, I'm devoted every spare second
i have to it, I've even got a typewriter in the mail. I'm serious
about this but I'm not telling anyone becuase They'll just doubt me
like everyone else.


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