DayDream Believer
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2002-07-19 16:06:07 (UTC)

Nervous and comfused Angel

Im stil note sure what to do, so I think Im gonna let faith
take care of it.
I`ll go down and wait outside S* house, and if he comes
home from a afther party or so and see me, then it was
destiny. And if not.. I`ll just wait for a while and then
go home and it was not meant to happend to night.

But stil Im nervous, I have no idea of whats gonna happend,
so keep your fingers crossed for me okey?
Tommy came by yesterday and wisited me at my work, it was
quiet so we got to talk a bit.
I said that he made me comfused when he turned away every
other time I reched out for him, and he said it was just to
tease me. These two days afther he went back to work from
his holiday he`s been in a kind of teasing mood.
And since I`ve been so depressed I`ll take it to me even
though I know he dont mean anything by it.

Im having truble making plans with Tommy for Satturday
since I dont know how Im gonna feel then.
I dont wanna see him to night eather, but I cant say it
straight out cause he dont know a thing about S*.
Me and Kelly are going out tonight, Tommy dont wanna come,
but he want to be with me and have me sleeping over at his
place from Satturday til Sunday..

So I told Tommy that he could be driving some friends of
him who asked him and I`ll go to Mo`s place. (ofcouse I
said he could come with me, but I dont want him to)
And the afther Mo`s party maybe I`ll M`s party alone then,
where everything is so easy and I dont have to think or
feel anything, just relax with my friends and have fun.
Its porbobly my last night with Ed before he join the
navy... oh boy! (just kidding, I dont think I will fall for
him just bacause he got an navy souit, never!)
Oh I how I wish this was tomorrow and not today so I would
know where I stand.

Even though Im scared, nervous, comfused and all those
things, I also feel a little bit good aswell.
Mybe its bacause everything in my life has been so
controlled and planned lately.
I always have to plan thing to feel that I got controll, so
this is me stapping out of the box for once.
I think I have been bored for a while with out even knowint
it or wante to admit it, or mybe I just bdidnt know it.
Why do I have to analyze everything??
Lee Ann at school say it all the thim, you`re over
analyzing it, its probobly not such a big deal as you think
it is, just ket it pas an see.

So in less then 12 hours Im probobly gonna be waithing for
S*,Im so excited to see what things gonna be like, its
gonna be the longest 12 hours in my life1

S*: One day we`ll be able to look back at this time and
laugh, but not today..
No matter what`s gonna happend I will always love you and
you will always gonna have a special place in my hart.
Even though I`ve tryed to tell you it before, but you
dindt understand or belived it; you have done so much for
me without knowing it, once you was everything I had, and I
bouth harted and love it.
Love it cause you was so greatto me, and hated it because I
was scared to lose you.
You saved me, thank you.

Love from your Angel

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