Freedom

My Guy

maybe one thing that sets me so far apart from my other
friends is that i want so much more out of life--one of
them being i want more out of a relationship than just the
be-sure-ur-with-me-in-whatever-we-do type deal. i mean,
don't get me wrong...i do want someone to be there. but i
just don't want to date around and have meaningless
flings. i want something in which i can find myself, my
heart, and my sould--and the same for the guy. i want to
have just as much of an impact on my guy as he would for
me. i have this one friend who's like how i was a while
back. she'll talk all about her "boy toys" and stuff and
how she's after so many different guys. actually--most of
my friends have turned into that. that's one reason i feel
so apart from them. i want something more. maybe it's
selfish of me to want that, but it's what i want. i want
something that means so much and is so incredibly special
and intricate. i guess the downfall of that would be that
if/when we break it off, it'd hurt incredibly hard. maybe
im getting way ahead of myself. i mean, im already talking
about heartbreak, when i don't even have that relationship
that im looking for. im not a pessimist (trust me). i
guess i just want to get the facts around me. then again--
what are the "facts?" i just know that i want something
more out of life. i want somebody who gives me so much joy
it's unbelievable. what im really describing sounds more
like me wanting to find my soulmate. and i believe he's
out there. i think it's one of the most incredible things
to believe that there is that one person who is just for u
and noone else. u and him go hand in hand like peanut
butter and jelly. i mean, ur soulmate could be doing
anything at this very moment. and ive always wondered if
when ill meet him or if ive already met him. maybe ill see
him for the first time on the road tomorrow. or what if
he's the guy im completely head over heels crazy about?
it's both good and bad to not know where he is. i believe
ill find him someday (if i haven't already), but i don't
know when. i guess what ill have to do is just wait and
see what happens. and ill let God decide when He wants me
to find him. i do believe in fate and that there are no
such thing as coincidences. to me, everything happens for
a reason even if we don't know why it happened. but we'll
get something out of it no matter what is--we'll get that
lil bit of wisdom and find this part of us that we never
knew about.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on
your own understanding; in all ways, acknowledge Him and
He will direct your path."
Proverbs 3:5-6