bongo player at heart

one day ill be a bongo player
2001-07-01 22:41:19 (UTC)

grounded

gounded. for a month I guess. that ruins a lot of plans.
like 4th of july parties, i wont be attending any now. I
had friends over last night for a movie. Only after they
left Tom stayed, and my parents came home. I thought i had
gotten away with it, my father and i drove tom home, i told
them he stayed because it was past curfew and he couldnt
walk home. but while we were driving tom home his mom
called and my mom answered. earlier she had called, and
tom said not to answer, because he didnt do chores before
he left. so i didnt. and so my mom thought of all the
reasons i didnt answer the phone. when i told her he has
said not to she got even more upset. "so what, your just
gonna do what he sais now". I know what she thinks
happend. ever since i went to her and asked for birth
control she has lost trust in me. We havent had sex, I was
being responsible, I thought i did the right thing by going
to her, she had always told me to, but now i feel like it
was a mistake, because ever since then she thinks
everything that i do wrong is because of tom. she doesnt
trust me. everyday she asks if ive gone to his house, and
that she doesnt want us alone because she doesnt want him
to "talk me into anything" she acts like thats what it
is. that i dont want to have sex, he just "talked me into
it" she doesnt understand its what i want, and that im
going to wait on it until im on birth control, im being
responsible about it, u think she be proud about that at
least. well anyway. I cant talk to him for two weeks.
intwo weeks my parents go out of town for this camp thing,
where all these old people get piss drunk. I was gonna
have to house to myself. they were even gonna take my
little brother. But now they dont trust me, i guess they
have a right, I WAS planning on having tom spend the
night. on another note, courtney, my bestest friend, or
one of them anyway, whom i love very much, even if every
now and then shes a little over sensetive, wich makes me
love her more, is starting her little diary, i made her,
cause im nosey, i wanna read what she writes, she knows it.
dustin , a friend i had over last night, is a little upset
with me, i feel bad, i got mad at tom, a pms thing, and so
we were lying on the trampoline talking and we kinda
excluded dustin, i d ont really know why i was mad at tom,
i had found some girls number in his wallet, but that
doesnt bother me, im secure with the relationship, he told
me it was this chick at the mall, from a long t ime ago,
right after he broke up with magen, and he hadnt called
her or anything. i guess i was mad cause i couldnt figure
out the love thing. when we were on the trampoline i
layed there thinking about it, and i finnally decided that
its not fair to him that i not tell him i love him because
of what russell did, hes not russell, hes tom, so i told
him i love him.