Just a Girl
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2002-07-17 23:33:24 (UTC)

Oh NOOOO I binged again. I hate..

I binged again. I hate it when I do this. I ate a lot of
Cheetos and a couple of brownies and a latte and my stomach
is huge and i just hurt. that's the worst part after
binging...my stomach is stretched and huge and it's so
uncomfortable! Why do i do this to myself? i tried to
make myself throw up, but i can't...i can never make myself
do it. so, i had this frantic need to go on a run, but
it's too hot, so the calories are just soaking into me and
oh god, i'm going to go on a run when it cools down, or
when i just can't sit here and feel like this anymore. my
mom bought the latte mix from last summer, when my eating
was all messed up (well, actually a lot better than it is
now). it's probably nothing, but in my mind, it seems like
a little signal that she's sending...she wants me to be
like i was last summer. i'm trying :( oh god i have to
get rid of this feeling