BabyGurl

K-Lo
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2002-07-16 05:37:53 (UTC)

Don't wanna be alone..

I fell in love 2 years ago with the man of my dreams. Everyday someone is trying to take him away from me. I ask myself what I am doing wrong to deserve this. Do I not show enough love and care for him or are they just mad cuz I have him? I question the ppl who are coming between us, but all they say is that I don't deserve him. Sometimes I just feel like the whole world is out to get me. I ask myself if it is ment to be for us or if we are just together cuz we don't wanna be alone? I really wanna be with him, but if these ppl keep saying shit then I have to say I am going to give up. I can't take much more of it. I have been going through this for the whole 2 years we have been together. We are getting married and some ppl just don't wanna accept that. If we do get married how are they going act then? How will they feel? I really don't even know if his family likes me anymore. Whenever I call his house they are always rude to me. His mother, 2 sisters, and 2 of his brothers are the only ones who have respected me. He repsects me, but how do I know it won't change with all of this going on? I have no one to trun to when I lose him. I can't go and ask anyone question cuz they don't know what to say about it. I have been done wrong so many time and I don't wanna go through that again. How can over come my past fear of getting hurt by this one? He has done some much for me, that I even think twice about ask for more. He has gave me my life back that I lost. I thank god every nite that I have found someone like him. I thank him for everything that he has done, but sometimes it just don't seen like it even means anything. I would do anything in the world for him, but when I tell him that, he just acts like i'm not being seirous about it. Sometimes he question me about why would I do that. All I can say is cuz I love you and I wanna see you happy. I don't want anything to ever happen to him cuz he is my life. I just feel like I am being paid back for all the things I have done wrong in the past. The thing that gets me the most is how he hardly has time to talk to me. It is like there is not enough time for me. He stays busy all the time that I don't even know if he will have the time for me when we are married. He only has time to talk to me late at nite. Right now he is out running the roads with his friends why I am here wondering what he is doing and if he is ok. We have so much ahead of us that we are not even ready for. He says he is, but how do I know that he really is? When I question him about things in life and what he is going to do, sometimes he gets mad at me. I just don't know what to do or say anymore. All I know is I don't wanna be alone!


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