Yup, my name.

Tuff Questions
2002-07-16 03:59:55 (UTC)

Any point to it all?

Well... today was a pretty boring day. On the plus side i
may have found a job, but still. Haven't talked to laura
yet much today... so no good parts of the journal ;). Nah,
but i dunno, not much to write about today. I spent a lot
of time with sarah, she was over the whole day basically.
I was thinking aobut my situation with her. Today we had
like a relationship talk, and she's definitely not feeling
the same things i am. Which just make's it harder for me.
I was thinking... whats the point? Even if i am feeling
what i'm feeling... is it really even gonna make sense to
do anything? Obviously i got nothing else waiting for
me... i mean... i know it sounds weird and all... but i DO
love sarah. yeah of course shit is fucked up because of
what happened, but then again, look at what DID happen
after. I mean, maybe i could just stick it out and try to
work things out... but i do'nt think thatll work...
idunno. I guess i just feel like, why trade something good
for nothing at all... Maybe i'll try to stick it out... and
if things aren't working out, i'll call it off when we go
to college... i guess thats kinda being a p**sy about it,
but sitll. Whats pushing me to NOT be a p**sy? The
possiblity of falling in love again... yeah right... with
who?? And what? Just fuck around w/ people and have fun?
#1 i'm not the guy to do that just randomly, and #2 if i
did get into another relationship, i'd be in the same boat
when i went to college in a short 11 months anyways... so
it seems like whats the point? seriously... what's out
that thats THAT much better? i mean, its not right... but
then again when's the last time someone treate ME right?
HAH! good luck with that one. Sarah's the only one who's
been there for me through serious shit before. Plus, it'd
certainly be better for her? so what the hell u know? i
feel like i'm trying to shoot myself in the foot here.
before maybe, but now? what for? there's no great future
for me on the horizon by doing it, so maybe i shouldn't?
or at least TRY to tuff things out. i dunno. i'm sure
i'll throw in another msg tonight, so stay tuned for the
sequel! =p
Me




Ad: