bongo player at heart

Boys

Once again, and always, the topic is boys. I can't help
it. You have people adicted to alcohol, drugs, shopping,
well, im addicted to boys. I'm one of those people who
always want to have someone. The first two boyfriends I had
were my best friends. One in 6th grade, Ryan. He was just
part of the group. He cheated on me. But it wasnt a big
deal, we were friends. Then Lee. That was wierd, my best
friend for 4 year then one day he kisses me. My first
kiss. After 3 days we decided it wouldnt be right to be
more than friends. Now it gets messy. Half way through my
freshman year I meet Chris. Over the internet. He just
started talking to me, and I gave him my number. So, we
went out, until I found out he was cheating on me, so I
dumped him. A week later I had him over and we started
making out. I was that "other girl". I guess I wanted him
to want me, get rid of Staci (his girlfriend) and go after
me, so I could turn him down and move on. Well, through
Chris I met his best friend Russell. After awhile Chris
didn't want staci, But it was after I decided to just be
friends. So he started trying to get me back, but Russell
told me he loved me, and I fell for it. I went out with
Rusell. I really thought it was love, I loved him, I just
dont think he loved me. 2 months. Thats not a long time,
I know, but give me a little credit, I thought it would
last alot longer. Then his mom went to the hospital, and
he didnt call me for two weeks. I figured it was because
of his mom. Then one day he calls me from chris' house and
starts telling me about some girl he met, and how he
didnt think it was working out because we never talked. I
said ok, hung up, and went to leannes. We drove to a
mountain, hiked to the top and as soon as we got there i
started screaming. It felt good. I was crushed. For the
next week he was all I could think about. Then one day he
called me, and told me how sorry he was, and how he still
loved me. He said he wanted me back, I told him I'd think
about it. I wanted to, but I knew if it happend again I
wouldnt be able to handle it. I called him back, to tell
him we should just be friends, before I could he said he
was leaving and he would call me back. He never did.
After a month or so I started to get over him. I started
talking about "the cute nose boy" again. The cute nose
boy was this guy me and my friends would see at lunch
everday. Perfect guy. Perfect body, perfect smile, and of
corse perfect nose. I have a nose fetish, his nose was by
far the best. One day Dustin heard me talking about him
and went over to him. He yelled " Hey Liz, Were you
saying HE has the cutest nose ever??" I said" YUP! he
does! just look at it!" Sat down and felt like crawling
under the table. It pissed his girlfriend off. Finnally
school was out, Dustin was throwing his party. When me
and brittnee got there, I saw the cute nose boy and was
shoked. I had no idea dustin knew him. The first 2 hours
of Dustins party sucked. I mean, for god's sake, we played
trivial prisiut!! what is that all about?? Something needed
to be done. I learned the cute nose boys name was Tom, and
about a month before his girlfiend had dumped him. Stupid
girl. After a few water fights and towl fights, the party
was good. Me and Tom had started kind of gravatating
towards eachoter. I found a pen and drew lil happy
sunshines on him. and he wrote his phone # on my forehead.
I thought it was cute. Three days later. After three all
nighters on the phone with eachother he asked me out. We
are going on our 3rd week, and its a blast. A few days
ago he come over, he wispered in my ear he loves me, for
the second time. And it scares me, because love just seems
to hurt. He asked why when he sais that I stop smiling,
but i didnt wanna say, so I just smiled and kissed him. I
dont wanna hurt him, But i havent said it back. I need
too, but i cant.