Thoughts from Blue Angel
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2002-07-15 17:22:56 (UTC)

Appalled, But Fascinated

I've been browsing some pro-anorexia sites, and although
they really upset me, I can't stop reading some of the
threads. Girls calling themselves weak for eating a 100-
calorie bowl of soup because they just couldn't resist
another day (yes, DAY)... Girls who won't even drink
calorie-free flavored water because anything that's
a "treat certainly can't be good for their diet... One
girl in particular who has been water fasting for almost a
month and is going to break her fast by drinking Diet V8
Splash for a few days. Hell, I couldn't drink just Diet V8
Splash for a few days period. I'd call it a fast, not
breaking one.

I would love to be able to make them understand how they
are hurting their bodies and their minds, but they are so
determined to become thinner and thinner.... and in an odd
way, I can see why they do it.

I personally would never want the "ana look" they all talk
about. But I would love to lose weight quickly, and there
are times I do unhealthy things in order to do so. Most of
all, I'd love to have control over my weight, which is
exactly what anorexia is about - control. It seems like my
weight is the only thing I haven't mastered control of.

As unsettling as it was to read the thoughts of those
girls, they "thinspired" me, as they would say, to fast for
a day, only I'm going to drunk some juice at least.

I figure a day of fasting every now and then won't ruin my
metabolism, and it will give my weight loss a little boost,
considering I don't have much time before school starts