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2001-06-30 07:13:09 (UTC)

kill me

i stopped writing my fucked up diary for a while
thought the weekend nothing special on firiday i went to
seef mall for a move "Hollow Man" not bad met Dr Nijad Mohiq
who was my professor in college he was with another student
Yasmeeen we talked for a while, i met one Thai woman
married to an english man in Saudi who come heere for her
weekeand her name is May she was soo sweet , i saw Marwa
Sharif that Howlla bitch in starbucks she was pregnant in
her late months, there were 4 ladies from Rasha salon who
were there too i said hello to themi had my lunch at home
then spend the rest of the day at home too,,,,,
on thursday i dropped in al aaali complex for lunch then i
had coffe in the cafe over there then went to giant
and got home today i called that place i was looking for a
job in and what happened my name was there i passed the
exam and the intervie but my fear is they think of the
fuckn GPA and cancell it its not bad but less than 3 , for
how long shall i suffer oh god?
isnt 2 years of hell after graduating from college enough???
i hav no hope for the future my life is black all black
there is no light to guide me thought the future i wonder
what have i done in my life to deserve this ???
i never harmed anyone dont i have the right to be
successful like any one else just cos of my religion i get
no good chance , and i know no one in power to get me a
good jo otherwize its impossible ,,
i hope i have the strengh to go on as i'm feeling bitter
like hell and lack even the desire to fight or resist,,,
suicide seeems a thought but dont have the guts to do it
i just hope my life terminates naturaly it really has no
meaning i'm the living dead,,