psychomagnet

sleeptodreamher
2001-06-30 06:04:43 (UTC)

I see no reason to take me home...

...i'm old enuf to face the dawn..."

whatever. im really pissed right now. and upset. and
overall just whatever man. like. today was supposed to be
a good day. i woke up and i was happy and i took a shower
and i was happy and singing and smiley and i went to matts
and he made me feel like such shit. and the thing is, he
didnt really do anything. i dont know how we got here, but
i dont want it anymore... i really dont. like, i left. i
got in the car and left and drove around and had a
cigarette and tried to calm down but i couldnt. like the
way he is to me really makes me crazy. he and my mother
have the power to make me want to die. especially my
mother which is really why im upset but we'll get there.
so whatever. i went back. and we went to carolines. and
like he owes me so much money. i wouldnt really care
except that we're not getting along so well and he's being
such a prick to me and its really a lot.. like he borrows
money every day. and he always says he's guna like give me
gas money and shit and it never happens. every time we do
anything i have to pay for him. and his sister, which i
dont mind and also, she doesnt have a job and its like i
really dont mind...... but anyway. and it was a good day
like at carolines and stuf.. nothing i feel like writing
about anymore becaues now im angry and sad and i feel like
a loser and i dont know whats wrong with me why i do this
shit and like who i like and whatever, whatever anyway
then she went home and i dropped gus and matt off and matt
got ALL mad at me and yelled at me kinda just like "get the
fuck away from me" and shit, and so i left again... and i
went to dennys. and carolines. and then the movies and i
was such a pain in the ass there like. i dont want to talk
about it- GOD FUCK man. shes drunk. i really...
whatever.. whatever.. i CALLED her just to CHECK cus i was
guna be like 15-20 minutes late after my LEGAL DRIVING
curfew, i fucking let her know 3 hours in advance. and i
even brought the fucking CAR home, and when i get home
shes all BITCHING AT ME ABOUT ME HOME AT 12 WHAT THE FUCK
IS THAT AND DONT FUCKIN YELL AT ME GOD GOD I WISH SHE
FUKCING KNEW HOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL WHEN SHE FUCKING YELLS
AT ME I WANT TO DIE. GOD DAMN IT...

whatever. i hate people fucking yelling at me.