Cath

my so called life
2002-07-14 00:12:32 (UTC)

Emotional roller coaster part II

Did anyone say 'Emotional roller coaster' ?
Hell, yes..
After writing the first entry, I got in a better mood.. I
felt kind of bad for being so unkind to Ben, so I sent him
a message : Hey, I'm sorry if I seemed cranky earlier. You
know what time of the month it is :P Have fun tonight :)

He called and said thank you. He had been worried.. He
thought he had done something wrong or that I was upset
with him for some reason.. I had to promise him like five
times that nothing was wrong and that I was 100 % sure that
I'm not upset with him. He asked if I was planning on going
to bed early. He wanted to come to my place when the club
closed (2 am). Since I had been such a bitch earlier, I
said I wasn't planning on taking an early night, and that
he was welcome.
After talking to him I felt so much better. I was actually
in a pretty good mood for a while. I watched Sex and the
City for like an hour and a half (three episodes.. two
different channels :D) and my brother and I made a late
supper.
After eating I felt bad again. I started thinking all sorts
of stupid things. It's so fucking crazy! Normally I'm a
happy person.. Sure, I can be in a bad mood, but it's never
been this.. I dunno, black.. Everything seemed black and
hopeless. I read the little note that followed the pills
and it said that some people could experience a light
depression. Oh my god, am I having a depression? I've never
even been close to depressed.. Ok,maybe when I cried for a
week because of this boy my friends sucked.
I dunno.. If this goes on, I'm going to get a different
pill.. Ben isn't here anyway, so what do I need the pill
for?

Oh well.. He just called. He's coming. I think he's drunk..
crap. Oh well, I'm gonna try to be nice.. not a grumpy
bitch. Blah.. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, WOMAN! (Or perhaps I
should say girl.. I'm not a girl, not yet a woman.. Go
Britney).
I better go, he'll be here soon.. Okidoki
Good night all




Ad: