You think you know...
2002-07-12 01:14:40 (UTC)

Sunday July 21,2002

Heyy! I decided to start this diary to get alot of things off my
chest! Most people would die if people read their diarys, but i see
this as a chance for people to really get to know me. Who
knows..maybe this will make things easier? You'll hear all sorts of
things in this..from guy problems, to fights with friends, to family
problems, and all the good times.

Gosh Im so frustrated with myself. Why did I let myself
fall in love with Evan? Really? Why did I let myself get so
wrapped up in him? Im really starting to realize how
incredibly STUPID I am for this. He doesnt want anything to
do with me. Shit-right now he wont even talk to me! I
really need to move on..find someone who loves me back, but
for some reason I just can't let go. I think part of the
reason I can't is because i fell for him so hard and after
a week he was gone-i donno... He's something I want really
bad, but I know I can't have him. The worst times is when I
read his profile or his journal and he has quotes in there
about other girls or talks about liking other girls. He is
one of the sweetest guys I know-maybe b/c for some reason
most of the guys that come into my life treat me like shit.
But to me...Evan is perfect. Well maybe not perfect but
pretty damn close. I really wish some guy would come and
sweep me off my feet...but no. Thats not gonna happen. I
need to stop worrying about it so much...