QueenKate

Rantings of a Crazed Mom
2001-06-29 04:57:13 (UTC)

Day 1 - Nana

Wow -

I finally fucking did it - an online diary. A place where I
can vent and scream in cyberspace. Coooooool....

Wow - where to begin..

My Nana died on May 19, 2001. I got the call from my Mom
while I was driving on the GSP to go visit Nana at the
hospital. I just KNEW when I saw my Mom's number come up on
my phone.. All she said, at first, was not to go to the
hospital, go to her place. I kept saying why why... I knew
why. Then she told me, crying, that Nana just died. I had
to pull my car over and I bawled. God - I miss her so damn
much it hurts. I can't even talk about her without crying.
She was such a fighter..she didn't deserve to die - not
this way... Thank GOD the drs said she didn't suffer, at
least not at that moment. I had just seen her the night
before - She was so cranky! I was trying to show her
the proofs of Moira and Olivia's portraits. She didn't want
to see them at first... But, she needed to use the bedpan
and I got the nurse for her. She was trying to send me hone
but I didn't leave - I remember calling my Mom and telling
her that Nana was being cranky. I went back to chat with
her some more.. She suddenly asked to see the proofs of the
girls. So, I pulled them out, got her glasses and she
picked the 1 picture of the girls that me and Mom had
agreed upon as the best picture. I remember chatting with
her for a few more minutes and she kept telling me to go
home. I gave her a kiss, told her that I loved her and I
would be back tomorrow to visit. And..that, my friends, was
the last time I saw my Nana....
Christ - this hurts so damn much - I fucking miss her. She
was only 78