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2001-06-29 04:47:24 (UTC)

i wish i had some pez

you know that guy i was telling you all about before? well,
me and him spent all last night with eachother. we were
sitting on his bed and we were watching miss congeniality.
that movie is so cute. benjamin bratt is HOT. damn. but
anyways. back to my night. we were sitting on the bed and
he was holding me(we were leaning against the pillows) and
i just felt so good. and he was all like playing with my
hair you know, and while he was doing that he lifted my
hair up and started to kiss my neck and he turned my head
towards him and he kissed me. it was a french kiss, but it
was a nice one. i was in heaven at that moment. so yeah, no
sex lol. which was nice. hes the first guy i know who hasnt
tried to get down my pants. im talking to him online right
now and i told him i like him alot, and he told me he likes
me alot too. and he sais we should give me and him a try
but i said no because of chris. i dont know what i got
myself into with him. but, i gotta get out, quick. or else,
something bad could happen. im afraid of what tony(the guy
i was with) said to me the truth or if hes lying. coz,
chris said the same things to me, and he turned out to be
some evil guy. so i dont know anymore. im questioning
everything alot now. all i know is that, that night with
tony, i was happy. i forgot bout chris, forgot bout zak,
forgot bout everything. it just felt so right. im fucked.
im going out with someone, yet i have feelings for another
guy. and i cheated on chris. but hes cheating on me, so
does it make it alright? i dont know. im afraid to break up
with him coz of what he might do. im afraid of my own