Love it to hard
And ever afther that we have continued kissing and stuff
like that. In the beginning I was okey with it, but afther
a while my head was spinning way over my self.
Then one day he asked me if I was in love, and I was
thinking "in you, hell no" but I answed "Im not sure,
maybe" cuz I realised that that was the truth, I might
still be in love with S*, but I did`t mention that it
wassnt in him. And I asked the same question back, and he
said "no, or its so hard to say". I was like okey, good,
now we both know where we got each other.
Everyone started to believe that we was together because we
spent a whole lot of time together, I`ve been with Tommy
every second Im not working and he is allmost always coming
to see me when Im workings as well.
Then I started thinking, cause I love him a lot and Im
afraid to lose him, we spent the last weekend at his place
and the we started to talk about it agen.
He said he was in love with me, and belived I was the same
some times, I said I wassnt sure.
He understod that I was afraid that a relationship could
ruin our great friendship if it got broken, thats what I
have been afraid of ever since the first night we kisses,
to lose him.
The next day when I had my phone off I was thinking a lot
about him and I thought that there was one thing I had to
tell him; how great he is and how much I love him.
But as sweet and nice as Tommy always is to me, he
understod that I was insecure and said I could have some
time to think.
And I`ve been thinking, maybe I could be happy with him,
maybe Im in love Im just to scared to face it because that
would led me to a whole lot of other problems?
Im really really scared that I will do the same mistake as
with Dante, I stil have problems with that.
So I decided that its up to him, Tommy that is.
I need some time to get over my problems and fix them, like
the thing wirth S*..
And if he will wait for me thats okey, and whats gonna
happend in the meanwhile is also up to him.
Cause I cant start a realationship thinking "what if.."
So Im going to go and see him soon, Im not to scared of
that any more, cause if things go wrong I know that I have
other people who love me.