moousee

Shag files, the early years
2002-07-11 00:01:59 (UTC)

nice day

OK its half past 12, and I am bored, hence me writing in
you. Got up today at about half eleven. Ate some chocholate
wheetos, which actually turned the milk more chocholaty
than coco pops, or chocko chrispies, or whatever those
sellouts are calling their cereal now. At about twelve i
realised that I had a dentist appointment five minutes ago,
and said to myself "fuckshitwanktosser" then realised my
mum was in the room, and so walked out like someone who
didnt care, JUST DIDNT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. I was really
embarrased though, its like saying fuck to your gran, but
your gran cant slap you, cause shes dead, maybe.
Carla rang at 1:03, which was three minutes late, and I
told her to get a fucking watch, which she refused to do.
Realising i was naked (other than boxers) and that Carla
has no taste in male bodies, i grabbed a shower, and put on
my excellent t-shirt, and green jeans avec dirty 'white'
socks. The silly girl came round right in the middle of
neighbours, and Dee was just choking, and she bent right
over, and u could see her boobs, but carla had to come
round right then and fuckin ruin it for me, she needs a dry
slap. So we watched the end of neighbours and then I made
her cook for me, because i deserve it. The food was quite
good considering it took her 10 minutes (far too long in my
estimations). It was potato, and cheese, and bolognase,
which was nicer than the potato, in fact, i think that
potatoes should be banned, they are too full of healthy bad
tasting shit.
Now the next two hours were probably a pivotal time in my
life. No I didnt have sex with Carla as you are no doubt
thinking, because i am not in lust of carla, because she is
of wrong looks. It is because i watched Airheads. This
film, in my opinion far outshone SpinalTap in its humour,
and one liners. One such example, black man says to
drummer "step back, you are standing on my dick",
another, "shut up you dick cheese burger". I think that
this is one of the greatest films that I have ever seen,
and I will buy it next payday (a week tomorrow).
After the film we ate again, which is something I do well,
im thinking of going to fat camp, im fat now. I made boon
mark 2 watch cross fire. This program is so bad, its good,
if you see what i mean. The presenter told us that a mad
scientist was going to kill everyone on earth, but we had
to wait till after the break to see what happened. This
left me in the state that you feel in when stroking the
hotdog, and a parent walks in just as the moyonase is about
to make its aperance, and you have to stop, till they go.
It was the longest 3 minutes of my life (possibly). Anyway
the mad dude died, so it was ok, we didnt all die after
all.
Watched another film called Jackie Brown, which was racist
because she was black. Tarrantino didnt live up to his
usual standard unfortunately. Also carla fell asleep on
me, and snored, thats two slaps shes due, and they arent
gonna be wet ones either.
Watched big brother, Alex is a cock, PJ needs hair, and
jade needs lipo sucktion. Then carla was thrown out (she
left) and I came online. My mum came in and randomly told
me about how this one time she broke a guitar over her
brothers head. I think I was supposed to say something
along the lines of "Wow thats fucking rock and roll, your
the best mum ever". Instead i just felt slightly woried,
and i will probably twist the story when im a massive rock
star, into the beatings i recieved as a child. Im going to
be a rock star, im buying a guitar the payday after leeds.
then im going to rock this place up. Well fairly boring
day, so ill leave you to being a diary now, bye
love nickxx

Listening to - Rage against the Machine " "

Sexiest girl I saw today - Carla

Ugliest - Carla

Stupidest person - Carla

Girls whose pants im getting into at the moment - N/A

Favourite song - reel big fish - shes got a girlfriend now.




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