Reality Bites
2002-07-10 06:16:07 (UTC)

I love you, I hate you

I came on-line today and Luke was talking but not being
himself. It was way to hot to be in my room so I told him
to call me if he wanted and that I was going to go into my
sisters room and chill. He didn't respond so I was like
'Ok, or not, later.' and then signed off. I went and
watched Never Been Kissed and fell asleep for a few hours
and went back to check my mail & put up an away message. He
Imed me and was like 'I know you Ang, you're sitting there
staring at the screen deliberately ignoring me' I went and
got a drink and then I came back and said 'Yep, you do know
me but I aparantly don't know you at all'. And we got into
it from their about how he has been treating me like he
treats his ex-girlfriend who he hates & how he's been so
different lately. He said he didn't even know he was doing
it and that he loves me and is just upset I'm leaving and
whatnot. He said he's really going to miss me and already
does miss me being we never see eachother. He doesn't want
to go 2 weeks without talking to me. He told me that he
loves me and he's been meaning to tell me that for a week
now. Why didn't he just say it? He leaves me guessing all
the time. I had to go after like a half hour of talking to
him and he told me he'd call me later and that he really
loved me & stuff. I told him I'd be home around
9...woops...more like 1.

My sister came over & I went shopping with her and then to
her place to chill. We had iced mochas and talked about a
lot...including Luke whom she thinks I should give a chance
to, she really likes him. Then we went food shopping 4 her
house and I went home around 6. No sooner did I walk in the
door than Alyssa called and said everyone was down at the
country club so I said hi to my mom, got my bathing suit
and got back in the car and went there. It was SO fun. It
was very chill we all swam and then we all went in the
hottub when it got a little colder. We left there at like
11 and went to get food...then we drove around 4 awhile. I
had Kate, Josh, Jake, and Marc in my
hallarity!! I came home about 1ish...and now I'm here. Im
talking to Rob who was working tonight, he's mad he couldnt
chill with us. He's great I love him. I got a message from
Mr. Lukas at like 9 and then he called but didnt leave
messages a few more times according to my caller ID. He
deserves to wait a little...I havent decided what I'm going
to do with the situation just yet but until I do I'm not
going to put my life on hold for him, I'm going to have as
much fun as I can, it is summer after all.

'I love you
I hate you
Don't go away
I can't decide if I like your face
Or if I wish it would stray
You're a child but you're malicious
You're sweet but don't remember my name
Heads you win tails I'm lost
Love equals pain
I'm drifting without an anchor
Through your ambiguious region
A strange continent immune to all reason
And I'm flattered by your grey matter'-Jewel