xJaYdEnx

XNo_StaRLeTTe_x
2002-07-10 05:31:31 (UTC)

*What goes through their fuckin' minds??*

sorry that i haven't updated in a while..i was either
busy...or just being fucking lazy....
alot of interesting things have happend within the past
week or so..

first of...i went to lando to stay with my sister for a
while b/c my moms boyfriend is a fucking psycho
bastard...and i just had to get away from him...anyway the
stay there was pretty normal the first few days....and as
always the only ppl that i had to hang out with were tony..
(my best friend/bro.-in-law) misty (his g/f) and zach..(her
bro)..
me and zach dated about three years ago..and broke up and
ever since then hes always tried to get with me....and as i
was in lando i noticed that he tried to spend more and more
time with me...which was fine with me cuz nonetheless we
were friends...
well...we were hanging out one day..all of us...just
chillin smokin' and havin' fun...well it was a wednesday
and misty had to go to her moms...so that left me tony and
zach...and u know that was kewl....but i went inside after
she left...the guys followed me...i walked into the back
bedroom....i was trying to get away form them so that i
could lay down for a lil bit...then as i was on the brink
of a blissful slumber..i heard the door open and close...
i thought.."yay they left"...but as i was walking back into
the living room i ran into zach...and i asked him what he
was doing there...and asked where tony went..and he
disregarded the second question and just simply
replies..."you"...and i was kinda weirded out but i didn't
think anything of it...

well after a while i put in a movie..13 ghosts...and we
started watching it...he started mad flirting with me...and
i was thinking...well what else is new....but he just kept
on for a while...like he was trying to kiss on me and
everything...and he had a g/f and he was just scaring me a
lil...after i finally got him to calm down...he starts
going through my purse..and he found the colorful condoms
that i have...and took one...then all the sudden he looks
at me and says.."Now I gotta use it"...when he said those
words my heart dropped...he got on top of me and held my
hands up on the top of my head...and i was squirming trying
to get free...and i couldn't move...finally he slacked off
a bit and i broke free and ran..i got no farhter than the
door...when he picked me back up and threw me on the
bed....i kept trying to run..but he wouldn't let me go...
he got me on the bed once again..and he started pulling my
shirt off...then i really freaked and started
screaming....he put one of his hands on my mouth...and told
me to stop...finally i did...having..well...not much of a
responce...he took his hond off of my mouth and pulled my
pants down....then i realized whats was happening...he
satrted asking me.."do u love me carmen"...and kept telling
me just to give him a kiss ...and that he just wanted to be
with me and stuff like that....i saw him going for his
pants and i satrted rambling on about how i was raped a
long time ago hopeing to make him stop..but he just
completely ignored it...i finally realized that i had no
time to be afraid...i had to defend myself....so i did all
i could think of...i bit i scratched..i
hit..kneed...spat...i did everything that i could to get
him off of me...and when i did i fuckin bolted to the door
and ran up to the park where i knew alot of ppl were...he
chased me up there...but after i got there..he came walking
up...i went and picked up my nephew and sat down and
started playing with him as if nothing had happend....i
would sometimes slightly glance over to see what zach was
doing...and for like ten mins...he just sat there and
stared at me...finally he stopped....and i avoided him the
rest of that day...i saw him again the next day at a
store....and i froze in my tracks when i saw his face...he
gave me a look that would send a chill down satans
back...he didn't say anythin just stood there...i finally
walked off....and i haven't talked to or seen him
since ....i haven't told really anybody about it except for
chris and matt....

it really freaked me out....i have been raped before..and
all u gurls and guys out there that have been there
too...just know i feel yur pain...

thats enough for this one...

xQuAzzIx
www.djinnband.com




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