Str8 Girl, Interrupted

My Life is a Drama....
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2002-07-10 02:45:21 (UTC)


I just finished watching the last episode of the Real World
Chicago...and it's made me do alot of thinking and
reflecting. I know it sounds really silly, but I always
get inspiration when I watch something so filled with
emotion. It makes me look on my relationships with my past
roomates and present.

Chris and I are so not close right now. At this point in
our relationship, it's uncomparable to any other time in
our lives together. We've never had so much distance.
It's saddening, yet at the same time, relieving. I think
we both could see us drifting apart from each other and I
think we were both okay with it. It's okay to just be
acquaintances...we are at different points in our lives.
Space can only make us closer in the long run.

Marc and I are getting back a little of what we had....and
a little is alot. It scares me. I don't want to fall back
in the pattern I was on with him. I don't want the co-
dependecy that I had. I don't want the DRAMA. I want to
be his friend, but I don't want to be his best friend.
It'll only end up in hurt for me and maybe him. I guess, I
just try to be a friend to him without getting too close.
I don't give him much of me.

Josh is an extraordinary person. We are close, without
being too close. Josh is one person, I can tell everything
to... But we have our space and we aren't expected to
spend every waking moment together. It's nice to have that
sort of freindship in comparsion to my friendship with
Marc. He'd do anything for me and I would do the same for
him. We're more like brother/sister. It's nice. :)

I guess, in terms of friendship, I'm content. I know I
have friends that care about me and don't get me wrong...I
need them...but I don't need them sooo much that I'd die
without them. I've grown up alot in that sense. It
doesn't scare me if I'm not really close with them or if
they find someone and I'm left behind. I know I can
survive on my own...I don't want to survive without them,
but I know I can. I'm just content with my life and the
friendships that I have. I've weeded out the "good-time"
friends and I'm wayyyy happier. :)

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