Barbara Novak

Down With Love
2002-07-10 02:40:51 (UTC)

i'm not doing to well.

i've moved to michigan for the summer. i'm staying with my
aunt.
my so called friends have been talking about me while i've
been gone. (well that's nothing new really, but it still
hurts.)
i can't find a fucking job.
and all i do is sit around all day on the computer cuz i
don't have my license or a car, and my only friend here is
either working or out with his friends. grrr....
i think i'll go for a bike ride tomorrow.
i don't trust people as easily. which is good. because ppl
hurt.


"Lost"
I'm bleeding, following
the trails to where I began,
finding nothing to hold on to
as I cross the hot coals left
from the bridges that were burned,
leaving me in the cold.

Their faces haunt me
when I'm alone
I see them and blink.....
they disappear until
something comes along
to remind me of how I hurt,
how I let myself hurt.
I walk in moccasins near them now,
not saying a word,
praying I won't let one of my ideas escape.
They never could understand
where they came from.

I lock myself in my cage,
letting myself run free when I'm alone.
I make faces,
I imitate noises and motions.
I dance.
I sing.
But always alone.

Can't let them see me.
They'll leave me again.
Better cauderize my veins,
so they won't find me again.




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