July 9th ,2002
I am new here,
just found out about this...and I think its pretty cool.
I am havin holidays, which I hate..cuz now i dont have
anything to do...now I am able to start to think, think
about life and stuff.. I was always too busy to think
about that..but now that I have holidays I get the chance
to think about it...not that I want it.. I am thinkin
about life, love, anything...but those thoughts make me
sad. I live in Holland, but I wanna go to the US...
Yesterday when I was at the airport with my brother and I
saw those planes flying away from Holland...I felt I
wanted to go too.. I wanted to spread my wings and fly
away.. I dont know what to find in the US...might be work,
might be love...It might be my life...
I am in love with Zac, he doesnt know..he doesnt even has
a clue whats goin on... He means a lot to me... People say
I dont know him, but I know I do.. I know how he is, I
know what and how he is thinkin'. I just can feel it. Its
like we are bonded. 2 years ago, when I met him...it was
like magic. But later on when I saw those pictures of him
and his girlfriend on the net, it broke my hearth. Cuz of
all the thinkin of zac all the time I kinda forgot he
doesnt even know me. It was just my imagination. My
feelings for zac started in 1997, when I saw him for the
first time on MTV...with the band Hanson...and now, in
2002, i still have the same feelings..only more then
ever... And i know I will scare him off if I let him
know... if only i had the chance to let him know, i wouldt
do it. I dont wanna look like a ..uh..stalker or an
obsessed girl or something. I know this is more then a
crush...I just know.