smgfan422

Journey through life
2002-07-09 20:09:10 (UTC)

The belt curve of life

Well after another seemingly boring night at home last
night I got to thinking about life in general and where it
is that I am going. Lori and I cried over "A Walk to
Remember" and it got me contemplating what I personally
would do if I knew I only had a short time to live...
I would definately go to all the countries I've dreamt
about, spend every penny I have, eat all the junk food my
body could handle, and confess all my secrets to the ones
I love. The bottom line is: To be happy, you know TRULY
HAPPY with what your life is, do you need to act as though
you only have a month left to live? I mean, as of right
now I am terribly bored with my life. I chicken out when
talking to guys, I am not at my desirable weight, and when
opportunities come around to go out-I stay in and watch
tearjerker movies. What is wrong with me? That's when I
got to figuring stuff out!
When Chip talks about homosexuality he brings up this
simple idea of the belt curve. This curve states that at
the one end is STRAIGHT LAND and at the other end is the
FLAMEY MADONNA WANNABEE GAY LAND and all people fall
somewhere in the middle. Chip openly admits that it is
impossible to not, at one point in your life, think about
the same sex. Lori, Laura, Rustyn, Jessica, and Carolyn
have all made out with eachother and admitted to having
some sort of same-sex daydream. Even Chip, the
straightest Marine to ever walk this planet, has admitted
to thinking about guys in his youth. Since this belt
curve idea seems to work out in defining sexual
orientation, could it be applied to everyday life? My
question: IS THERE A BELT CURVE FOR EVERDAY EXISTENCE?
During High School I was as boring as they come, yet
once I entered freshmen year of college my belt curve
raised up and suddenly I was Mr. Party Central. Is it
that life operates on a belt curve with bumps and drops a
normal thing? Do I actually have something to look
forward to in the near future? Right now I'm in slump
mode. This summer has blown and it seems that everyone is
preoccupied with jobs and money to want to have fun. This
is definately normal and not looked down upon, but is life
worth living if my belt curve doesn't take a turn for the
better (an upcline)?
With this in mind I am hoping that this slump doesn't
last forever, I mean, there is got to be stuff to look
forward to in the future! No one that I know is really
interested in mating for life yet or babies or big
houses. Maybe my early 20s will be the start of this belt
curve incline. It sounds good-No school, full time
employment with weekends off (most likely), and nights off
always. Maybe life after college can be fun...well at
least I HOPE SO!
PS. By the way..I am improving in daily regimine. I
only puked once yesterday, but refused to eat today due to
the fact that I am not wanting to puke anymore. Jessica
almost figured me out and Chip called me out on my weight
issues. I WANT HELP I REALLY DO, but don't want to seek
comfort in anyone as of right now. HELP!




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