Reality Bites
2002-07-09 06:03:18 (UTC)


I'm feeling very drained and voulnerable right now and I
don't know why. I think I need to end whatever it is with
Luke. I have invested so much in him--time, emotions, trust-
which I don't despense freely at all. I feel like he is
bored with me but I asked him and he assured me that he is
not and I make his life interesting and how he will miss me
when I leave next week-I just don't buy it. I'm completely
lost and trying to find somewhere to focus whatever
feelings Im having. I just don't know what to do or how to
go about it. I tend to push people right out of my life
when things get difficult and that leaves me missing them
as soon as the hurt is over. I want things to be different
with Luke. He means so much to me and I really see a future
of SOME kind of relationship whether it be friendship or
otherwise. I don't want to ruin anything, yet I dont think
I can continue being my whole self is wrapped around his
every whim of mood. I sprained my hand today at Target and
that sucks...just don't even ask. Where is the help going
to come from...