2001-06-28 16:43:59 (UTC)

The End

So, about a week or so ago school ended. In Spanish class
we had to write these journals. I suppose they were to sum
up the year. They were what did you think was most
special, what do you regret, and a critic on the year.

Well, my regrets. I don't really have any. I have things
I wish weren't so, but those aren't true regrets. I wish I
would have let Mr. Cassette put me in Mrs. Galvan's class.
The funny thing about the whole situation is that I was
originally suppose to be in her class, but I knew that it
wouldn't have been a mental challenge for me so I asked to
be put in a harder teacher's class. Ha! That's irony for
you. If I would have taken Mrs. Galvan I probably would
have taken AP Spanish, delayed my year of non-fun, and had
four years of Spanish. Mrs. Galvin seems nice. Then I
wouldn't have been true to myself though. If I would have
allowed myself to take the easier teacher I would be
regretting it now, wishing I were more prepared for AP
Spanish - kind of like how I am regretting I had Mr.
Drummond for English and not being prepared for AP
English. I wish I didn't have to stand up for the
principles. That would have been nice. Letting things
go. Even though I thought they were bad, I could just let
them go. But, that's not me. If I didn't stand up for who
I am and what I represent then I wouldn't be me. I would
be someone completely different and I don't know if I could
stand that. I thought of a regret. Near the end of
Spanish...with my early case of senioritis, I gave up. I
thought you know what it's not worth it. He can say whatever and if I just sort of wander off
into my own world then I will be okay...but it wasn't
okay. That's my one regret: I gave up. In the end I did
something to retaliate, but I felt horrible after it.
DUDE! I didn't think I could do intentionally
mean...plan to be mean. After I did it, instantly, I felt
like such the "bad apple." I was intentionally snotty and
mean and just plain rude. Everything he would say or do I
would throw out some stupid comment. I said something...he
said I owed a dollar...I said, "So What? I don't care.
There, that's two." I didn't like doing it, but I kinda
did. I was being a rebel...yeah, I do do that, but only
with my friends at appropriate moments. So yeah and then
at the end of class I said, "So now you know what it's like
to have snotty comments thrown at you." I don't know if I
regret that. Yeah, I sort of do. I regret having to be
mean. But do you know when people listen? You probably
don't because they don't. They are always just waiting for
their turn to speak. That's it. He would never listen,
just wait for his turn to give excuse after excuse. You
know I don't need excuses...I could say I don't feel like
studying today because I have a cold, but that's not going
to help my grades or me get into college so excuses don't
get things done.

Things that were special to me. I think it was that I
stuck out the class. I faced a challenge. I thought I
wouldn't be able to do it and that I would be dead at the
end (inside, not literally), but it just made me more
secure in myself. I stood up for what I believed in. I
didn't matter that everyone thought I was crazy, I was me.
I did what was right for me. I also liked going to my
friend's Spanish Class, 6th period. That's a side
unrelated Spanish comment.

The end critique. I guess I just want to the end
the class just wasn't for me. Maybe it was just that at
the end of the day I just couldn't stand just the day or I
just wanted to go home or something, but it wasn't for me.
For some people it was great...for me it wasn't so great,
but I'm one out of a million. It just wasn't for me.
That's all I can say about that.

All in all Spanish was great. All my years. I loved it.
From my days with Senora Doll to the Cure to Ricky Martin
and the culture...Everything. Spanish was something I could
really rely on to show me new worlds and new things and I
am going to miss it. More than my heart knows at this
point, but all good things must come to an end so...The End.

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