starry nite

my own world
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2002-07-09 00:04:54 (UTC)

an ending crush as i was talking to steve today i started realized
i really dont think i like him as anything more then a
friend anymore. i mean he used to be so fun to talk to, now
i feel like its just work to keep up a conversation. he acts like he
would much rather not talk to me, but i dont think he would ever tell
me that because he wouldnt want to hurt my feelings. its hard to
explain how i feel when i talk to him. its like im talking to someone
i know wants nothing to do with me and yet i still IM him. its
just not like it used to be anymore. i dont know what happened. maybe
he realized how incredibly annoying i really am. i dont know...i feel
completely worthless, but i guess thats what i deserve. if i wasnt
annoying or acted differently then maybe he(and others) would
actually like me and not just pretend to. then ahain i am not going
to pretend to be someone im not so i guess if the way i act isnt good
enough for everyone else i will just go on having people that dont
really want to talk to me anymore after they get to know me b/c they
will see how i really am.

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