The Boy Looked At Johnny
2002-07-08 17:11:44 (UTC)

Raise your glass to the good and the evil

Lipika and Phillip return Wednesday night for five days,
and then go off again, taking Gawain the dog with them. I
need to spend today getting the house together and
presentable, a task which I may have aunt Sara assist me

A few thoughts on Gawain the dog, who will soon be out of
my life for good in two days.

It is a bittersweet thing to bid farewell to a dog, I
suppose. As much as I did occassionally enjoy his company,
and less occassionally his walks, I have to say, I won't
miss the fur all over everything and the barking at animals
that are hundreds of yards away and the sleepy hour-long
walks at eight the morning. I don't think I would be
interested in owning a dog after my experience with Gawain.
But you know, he was generally even-tempered and friendly,
and I'll probably miss him just a bit. Gawain, my furry
friend, godspeed to you.

Jessy and I went out for ice cream and doughnuts last
night, and I gave her a birthday present, a collection of
Richard Hell's essays and poems and lyrics and things. It
was a fun night, and she stayed over. I think I'm getting
better about taking the relationship in the present and not
worrying about the future. We had a really nice, honest
conversation last night about that very topic, and both
basically agreed this may or may not work out long term,
but regardless, neither one of us will disappear forever.
Sometimes, honestly, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing
by getting involved with a girl that I realistically
probably could not have a future with, and even wonder if
at this juncture in my life I should even be in a
relationship at all -- you know, I DID work myself into a
pretty convincing anti-girlfriend froth for awhile, ha ha, and I
think you saw the worst of it. But really, I feel good about the
whole situation with Jessy, and I feel like we're doing the
right thing together. She's just much too special to not
get to know, and I'd be both heartless and a moron to not
be with her, even if it IS for just another month or so.

So, here's to the future, kids.

UPDATE: October 24, 2002:

Quote: "But you know, he was generally even-tempered and friendly,
and I'll probably miss him just a bit." Funny thing is, whenever I
call another dog, even Buster back at my parent's house, whom I've
known for ten or eleven years, my first impulse is to call
them "Gawain."

Oh, Gawain, you wacky dog. I loved ya, boy!

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