Life as I know it.
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2001-06-28 06:26:38 (UTC)

Long Kiss Goodnight

No my title has nothing to do with this entry.

To the people leaving me messages, thank you, you guys are
too nice. One person inquired why Matt and I arent giving
it another shot...well we might be, who knows, oh wait no,
he does. So I dont know, he knows that im here for him,
and such. I dont know if that is a good thign or a bad
thing. I asked him the other day if i was his second
choice and he said i was his only choice. But he was
drunk. Nooooo I do believe him, just wish that we would
try harder than what we do now which is basically talk
about nothing like we used to. Seriously, and it sucks, i
have more deep conversations about my relationship with him
to anyone else who is willing to listen. But with him I
aviod it cause I have to remember above all that when he
said everything saturday night to me he was drunk, eventho
truth comes out in drunk he might not be ready to deal with
this whole messed=up situation sober. And I might not be
able to too as much as I want to.

There is one good thing about this situation tho, I dont
hurt anymore. I think we ended things too intensely
emotional wise. There was no drifting apart it was all or
nothing with us, so I dont know maybe this will work, maybe
it wont. Im in this situation right now hoping for the
best, expecting the worst. But that's just my outlook on

So if anyone has been reading this and always wanted to say
something please feel free. And seriously if there is
anyone going thru stuff like this (male or female) please
feel free to write, I need some guidance about what to
expect cause i have never done this stuff before....with my
other ex's its been complete contact cut off once we break
up and I never take anyone back. So I dont know. damned
fucking love.

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