moousee

Shag files, the early years
2002-07-08 12:07:31 (UTC)

Diary eh?

Having a diary is an interesting prospect. I dont think that
I have ever considered having one, since boon had all her
secrets revealed to her family because she wrote all her
shit in it. I suppose writing all the crap in your life is a
good thing, or it might make me shoot myself. In the face.
So im in college, I'm supposed to be craping myself i
think because my assignments arent in. So i decided rather
than attempt the impossible I would mess about online, and I
came accross this site. I never knew that there could be so
many ugly scally girls in one place at the same time. Then I
came to this shit hole, oh well, at least the terms over.
Matt finally split with boon, took his time about it though,
she messed him about so much, she changed a lot over the
last year. Turns out shes now going out with Antony, which
is meant to shock us i think, thing is it doesnt, which
makes it a bit of a rubbish gesture if you ask me. Matt and
I went to the thirsty schollar on thursday(i paid), then we
went to Rockworld, just for a change. Matt got with a
mid-attractive girl called Ella, then whined about what a
bastard he was. Yes Matthew, you are a bastard, BECAUSE YOU
OWE ME ABOUT 40 PINTS! Was supposed to do something with
Carlawarlawoo on friday, but forgot to ring, so rang at
about 10 oclock and tried to sound sorry on her answerphone.
I think i sounded constipated though. While getting a pint
at the dancehouse with matt and dan much drama ensued.
Basically dan, being the ruffian he is attempted to beat up
a massive black bouncer, in a kind of round about way. He
bought some cigarettes, and then ( I still dont know why)
emptied the contents out of one onto a rizla, knowing that
the bouncer was right behind him because of our repeated
warnings. He was in mid roll when the bouncer said "what do
you think you are doing? Get out" and dan said "Fuck you,
fuck your mother FUCK THE SYSTEM"(or words to that extent).
The bouncer wimpered and ran off.
Saturday, not a blinding day, went to town with larry,
met dan matt etc there. Matt was being a lazy stoner
mosherboy so left him to it. We went around manchester and
bought stuff. I found out something great about dan. If you
want him to do something for you, then ask him 6 times. for
example:
"Dan buy me this t-shirt"
"No"
"Dan buy me this t-shirt"
"No"
"Dan buy me this t-shirt"
"No"
"Dan buy me this t-shirt"
"No"
"Dan buy me this t-shirt"
"No"
"Dan buy me this t-shirt"
"ok"

I used this tactic to obtain a great t-shirt, that on
reflection is really the greatest t-shirt ever sold at the
oxfam in manchester. I wont describe it, because none of
your puny minds can contemplate understanding the irony
behind the message on this shirt, and neither can I, but I
know that there is loads. We then went to the cinema, where
larry suggested that we go and see Scoobie doo. Nice one
larry.....tits. Whilst waiting in the line i decided to
employ a new tactic on dan:
"Dan your buying me this ticket"
"no"
"Er yes you are"
"ok"
Strange how manipulated he can be, me and larry ripped him
for ages, then felt bad. Scoobie doo was so wank. It was
like the part of crotch that a tramp doesnt wash, and has a
thick deposit of goo. Thats how wank it was, WANK. The only
good bit was MXPX being at the front of the plane, and I
went "theres mxpx" and got told to shut up. There was some
goon behind us who was with his kids, and he laughed at the
worst bits. I wanted to make him die, maybe with a knife,
or my bare hands. I got really evil looks because there was
this one line where shaggy said "so you want a piece of the
shagster eh?" i nearly pissed myself laughing at it, and
little kids looked on in wonder asking their parents what
was funny. I might try that line, maybe ill get laid(yeh
right).
After that we went back to matts, where we were geeks and
went on the computer. His sister had annoying friends
around, who called matt gay, how very astute, appart from
the whole him liking girls thing, which would mean that he
isnt. We went online to annoy people, and Dan again showed
his racist streak, hes embarrassed about it now, but its not
good enough, I might bust a cap in his ass for messin wit me
homies. Matt had a file on his computer which was about
Jamie, and mildly insulting i believe. We looked at comical
t-shirts online, and they all laughed, but i sat there
feeling smug, knowing that nothing could come close to my
new one. There was a file insulting jamie on the computer. There was much tension when jamie found it, and me
and dan laughed in their faces. We are so punk rock, we just
DONT CARE, appart from i do, i shower. My hair is too big. I
hate it. Fell off my bike on the way home. No one saw so i
got on and rode like nothing had happened, even though i was
in lots of pain

Sunday was work, i served a weirdo who said my name like
thingy out of silence of the lambs. I expected him to ask me
for a nice chiante' but he didnt, tosser. I hate customers.
My job would be great without customers. They should all
die. I realised that i give away too much free shit, Jamies
girlfriend came in and asked for food, and i gave her free
stuff, then i realised about how I was taking down the
corporation from the inside, and I felt like a warrior. Like
he man, with a smaller cock, probably, i cant imagine that
he has a small one. I bet the turtles do though, how do they
pro create? I bet it makes a lot of clicking noises. Id hate
having a shell. Got home, argument with folks, made them
appologise, felt great. Went online, spoke to ella, turns
out her and matt bum off the same bands, but the cheese boy
said he just wanted to be friends. He must watch Dawsons
creek all day everyday. Heard that josh is seeing Helen,
that raked up some memories. Got depressed cos I started
thinking of last summer, and how everything has changed. Im
just an emo kid on the inside, AND i like kidsnearwater. Im
going to cry at my next gig. I ended up giving ella a list
of my favourite bands, and I realised how underground my
tastes have gone, i must sound pretentious. I still like all
my other bands though, greenday etcetera. Speaking of which
theres that festival on thursday. I saw them setting up the
stage when i walked past today, im getting excited. Leeds
isnt too far off either, Dan and I got our tickets on
saturday. That is going to be so damned good. Iv not got any
girls on the horizon at the moment, guess ill be waiting a
long while. Ah well.

Listening to:- Gash- Virgin' on the Ridiculous

Favourite song today:- Elviss- De Change

Favourite Band today:- Crackout (as ever)

Favourite Quote today:- So you want a piece of the shagster?

Sexiest girl seen today:- Hot blonde on the met

Bigest cock:- Limp biskit hoodie wearing scally with
rockports, also on met

Girls pants im getting into:- none of any note




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