i_bleed_life

The mediocrity that is me
2002-07-06 10:11:00 (UTC)

Like a bucket of ice water down your shirt.

"Hey, did you know that the parents are seriously talking
about kicking you out?"

"What the hell?!"

"Well, they are."

And then my day started.


It's always a strange feeling to know that someone has been
talking about you behind your back. It's even stranger when
it turns out to be your parents --- and they're saying
things you'd never want them to even think.

I guess I can understand where they're coming from --- we
really don't get along sometimes, and to be honest, I don't
want to live with myself half the time. I'd kick myself
out, but unfortunately, I'm stuck with me.

They've never really talked of kicking me out before.
Threatened to call the cops if I went anywhere without
permission, and once, when I was small, they told me to
pack my bags and send me to the orphanage. You know, the
normal stuff.

I just wish I'd get a little more of a warning on something
like this. I thought spending time away from the house
would cut down on the time we spent together, so
we'd 'mesh' a little more or something when I was home.
Wrong! Boom, slap in the face. Everything is not alright.

I never really thought I was a bad person before. I don't
think I'm a bad person now. Not really. Fuck, I'm so
confused.

This whole thing just makes me never want to have kids.
Ever.

Fuck.