You really want to know?
2001-06-27 18:02:30 (UTC)

Down and out

I am very depressed and have been so for quite some time. I
got laid off for the second time back in October of 2000. I
have been working with my father sence the begining of the
year and business is not going the way that I thought it
would. It is difficult enough for me to interact with my
parents, but now I under the thumb of my father and it
sometimes strains our relationship. I don't get along with
my mother at all and have hardly a word to say to her. She
is very confussed about several issues, one of which is the
way that she treats my children. I just don't care to be
around her and I don't want my children to be subjected to
her sudden outburst of stress and verbal abuse. Yet, I feel
that my father is making every effort to spend time with my
Due to my most resent layoff and the lack of success in my
business, I have a very low self esteem right now and low
self worth. It is very difficult to accept that I am not
actually making money right now...even with all the effor
that I am putting forth.
I have thoughts of suiside, but the only thing that keeps
me from going through with it, is my kids and my wife. I
could not imagine how they would feel or how their life
would be without a father.
I am not lazy. I'm not stupid. Things just don't go right
for me and I am very very tired of it all.