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2002-07-06 03:38:10 (UTC)


This deep wrenching feeling only further explains what I
don't know. Maybe I'm stuck for a reason. Maybe the pain
and suffering I feel are only here to create a larger reward
in the end. Maybe....maybe that might be true, but I doubt
it. Experiance as taught me that much.
I feel empty of something unnamed so far. I wish I
understand what I'm missing right now. This feeling aches
within the chambers of heart and my mind is degrading what is
left of these torn organs. I don't understand anymore. I
have no more plans and I'm stuck.
There must be something though. Something within the
bowels of this void that will change everything. Something
that will stop the powers of water, to stop the slow ryhmatic
beat of pain that plays over and over in my ears. I must
find it. Maybe i already have it, maybe I don't. Maybe I
should stop questioning things and just go by my feelings.
But its too hard, all of this. As weep upon thy stone
pavement, i think to myself, am I gonna give up now? Its
hard, its soo very hard. Maybe I am everything I ever said
i am. Weak, needy, hopeless; all the qualities of a person
that is a just a waste of life.
I think I am already a waste of life. When I look upon it
and its future. I'm never really be anything. No matter how
many times i may dream, in the end it only is dreams.
There is nothing left to believe
in. ...............nothing.....leave, leave leave....i
think its time for me to leave, I think its time for me to

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