Niki

~
2001-06-27 11:09:43 (UTC)

its weird u know.. i setr this..

its weird u know.. i setr this up so i could write to u
without u actually getting the letters.. so i could like
say exactly how i feel, yet ive been stopping myself from
even doing that. I guess im stopping myself from contact
with u all together. It hurts when u shut me out of your
life. i dunno.. maybe im just trying to forget everything,
but ita not really that easy. i just.. i want to know about
u. about your life.. where u are.. wahts going on..
anything. i miss you like anything. u were the one person
who really could understand me.
Its my birthday in 2 days.. you were supposed to be here. i
guess i gave up on that idea a while ago, but a small part
of me still clings to the hope that you'll show up on my
doorstep on friday. i know it wont happen, but i wish it
would.
Im sorta scared though, i mean if u did, id be so happy..
but where would we go from there? what do i say? what do i
do? would it be all kisses and we'd live happily ever
after? or would it just be more heartache?

sometimes i think i still love you. sometimes i hate you
for playing me again. sometimes i feel like those last
times i talked to u.. were




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