still single

sick of all the sh*t
2001-06-27 07:02:21 (UTC)

Just sittin here pullin my hair out

I went to my friend Adriannes after work today and we bar b
q'd with her friend Dan. When I wasa there my ex boeau
Jason called me on my cel. I left early and met him at my
house. We had sex which was average but his big dick felt
nice and it got my mind completely off Denis. Jason is
still with his girlfriend Brandy who is just a little off
just like him. Perfect couple I swear. I needed the sex
even though I can't cum from it I still like the intimacy
and animalistic side of it. It was so nice cuz he made me
take my wig off and he rubbed my head and kissed me for
awhile first. D wouldn't even touch my head EVER. He found
out today that Edwin was going with me to Vegas this
weekend and he was none too happy.
Also...I went to The Beachcomber on Sunday night and
Adrianne met the cutest guy and I met this 6'3" Black
guy...Adrianne says he was cute but I just am not attracted
to black guys. We ended up making out on the dance floor
since Adrianne was making out with her fine looking guy and
I figured what the fuck. We talked later on and he is
actually very smart and talented...also very active. He is
an investigator for Workers Comp fraud claims and he
already called me twice yesterday. He wants to go out after
he's done refereeing on Thursday but I think it will be too
late...Haven't told him that yet, though. And Friday I have
to work than drive to Vegas so I don't want to stay up late
the night before and be totally exhausted. Anyway I know
this sounds strange but I just don't feel ready to date
because I still have feelings for Denis(of course fucking
my ex is ok)also...I don't know if I can be attracted to
him because he's black...I hate to say it but the physical
attraction is not there.I don't know whether to go out with
him again or not...maybe I should give him a chance..I mean
maybe he wo't like me wants he finds out about my hair. It
could go both ways...but I would understand that, too..It
would hurt a little but I'd understand and get over it. I
have this feeling that Denis is sorry we stopped seeing
each other...Thre are sooo many little things he does to
make me believe this...not that we'll ever be together but
it's helping getting over him. Okay going to have a