lucyberesford

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2001-06-27 01:23:55 (UTC)

(27/06/01) - You ever had a fantasy?

You ever had a fantasy?
I'm not speaking y'typical wannabe sexual fantasies where
some buff guy appears out of no where while you eat that
toffee pop on ur couch...
I'm speaking a fantasy of how your life could really be.
Something believable...
Well, at least, believable at first.
But then the realisation that your life actually sucks and
nothing that good could ever happen to you slowly sinks in
again.
It's a cruel cycle.
But it always happens. It never ends.

Y'know the song "if i could" by 1927?
well, the lyrics go something like this...

"If I could paint
I'd paint a portrait of you
The sunlight in your eyes a masterpiece of truth
And a single tear like a silent prayer
That's shining so much brighter than a diamond ever dared
If I could do anything at all, I'd do it for you
If I could write
I'd write a book for you
A tale of hidden treasures with an I.O.U
And a million words couldn't say a thing
That won't be said in three words
Where love's the central theme
If I could do anything at all, I'd do it for you
If I could play
I'd play up a storm for you
A raging sea of passion that you never knew
Every whispered sound would touch your heart
And maybe for a moment I could be your favourite star
If I could do anything at all
If I could, I'd give you more
If I could do anything at allÂ…..I'd do it for you"

It's my all time favourite song. I love it. And almost
every time i listen to it i get all emotional...
Y'see, that's my fantasy... ever since i was old enough to
consider having a relationship w/ a guy, that's been my
fantasy.... for a guy, not just any guy, but the guy i
want more than anything in the world (no one in particular
at the moment... just ... i dunno... it's irrelevant) to
say those words to me... and mean it.

But at the same time i always fantasised that my life would
be worth something... that when i reached the age of 18,
i'd be popular, i'd be smart... i'd be in university doing
really well...
that i'd be well on my way to creating myself a worthwhile
future...

Just goes to show that fantasies are only fantasies after
all...
I guess they aren't really made to come true.


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