I'm a girl, not a band!!!
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2002-07-04 02:41:07 (UTC)

Seriously Disturbed?

I always feel that around others, I need to come across as
strong. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I don't like
showing weakness to others. But I am, and it's getting
harder to hide it all the time.

Don't know why it's all happening now. I mean, I go up, I
go down, and it's from one extream to the other. The
littlest things set me off. I just don't get it. I don't
know what I need, I don't know what I want. One moment I
want one thing, and then in a blink of an eye I want
something else.

I don't want anyone to know. It's become my secret. Though
writing it here means that people I know are gonna read it.

It's been really hard not to just give in...to go get
fucked (literally) or just drink myself into a stupor.

It just started to rain. I like the rain.

Sometimes, a coma seems appealing. Not that I'm gonna do
anything because I can't. I am too much a chicken to do
anything...be it something harmful to myself, to others, or
even to drive without my seatbelt. Those are just things
that I don't do.

What do I want? Can somebody please tell me?