The Owner(s)

Matt's Whining and Bullshit
2001-01-06 00:22:12 (UTC)

Its happened again! FUCK IT..

Its happened again! FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK IT !!!! I HATE MY
FAMILY! I HATE MY FrIENDS! I HATE THIS FUCKING LIFE! I
CAN't EVEN CALL IT A LIFE BECAUSE... it doesn't feel like
it should be one

Remember that concert I wanted to go to? The Dumbfounded
and a whole bunch of bands from school and around the area
that I would have sold my fucking kidney to be able to go
to? Well... it started a little over an hour ago...
obviously I'm not there... Wanna hear the story? Of course
you don't... but here it goes...

Its snowing out and i got home and my mom was asleep so I
had to wake her up and she was in a bitchy mood right from
the start. She immediately starts questioning me
like "Where is it, whos going, can you get a ride?" so I
answered the questions (Old Bridge, EVeryone, No) and she
went nuts. Because she said I was giving her attitude...
which I probably was because I really wanted to go and I'd
only been talking about going for a LITTLE OVER A MONTH. I
told one of the bands that I would take pictures with my
digital camera for their website, thats the worst part. I
can't take pictures while sitting here on the computer..
well I can.. but not of the band. it blows! I have
nothing to do on a friday night all thanks to some snow, a
lazy ass mom that always wants me to get rides with
everyone else because she doesn't like driving me or anyone
else places, and my dad who is just as lazy and even more
bitchy. I am pissed as hell... all I've done soo far this
week is go on the computer and write in this diary about
how much I was looking forward to going to this damn
concert and now all I'm doing is writing about how much I
want to be there and how pissed off I Am that I'm not
there. I started hitting my head on my closet door. I
hope theres a bump there... i'm just pissed ass hell... I
was playing guitar REALLY REALLY loudly and I think I blew
out my amp that sorta sucks... maybe it'll start working
again later... who cares... concert... concert...
concert... thats all that i'm thinking of... I could be
there... but it wouldn't be the same because I missed the
dumbfounded set and thats the one I had to take pictures of.
Its a load of bullshit.. MY mom came up to me 10 minutes
ago saying "I'll take ya now..." and I was like its too
late so she got madd again and I've done nothing but talk
shit about her behind her back since... kinda like i'm
doing now. GOd dammit I'm pissed and I want to keep
writing but its all starting to repeat so I'm going to wrap
it up... boring friday night once again because my lazy ass
parents won't drive me anywhere and because it had to
fucking snow. I liked snow a few days ago. I officially
hate it now. No more playing in the snow for me I'm not
even going to go near the stuff because I despise it! I am
going to spend the rest of the weekend locked in my room
because I don't want to see, hear, smell or speak to anyone
in the world. I want to be alone... alone for as long as
possible.. People just leave me alone... oh yea... as u
read this... I am pissed as hell while I write it... so
feel free to try and fuck with me on AIM ( My AIM name Is
MonkiesNRhinos4e I dare you to fuck with me....DARE YOU!
I'll rip off ur fucking head and shove it up your mother
inlaws ass )

Now on to other stuff... the other day I beat the shit out
of my brother over a game of chess... he had it coming
although the point he was arguing was correct after all and
I was wrong... its just that he picks the worst times to
come and fuck with me because thats the way he is. I was
about to kill the bastard today when he came in here while
i was talking to someone about how i couldn't go to the
concert.. it was right after i had kicked him off the
computer because he was on the phone and online at the same
time and thats just unacceptable... so he made some comment
like "well then u can't be playing the bass and on the
computer at the same time" and i was like "jackass, once u
figure out a way for me to talk to people using this bass
guitar... shut the hell up!" and he was like "you shut up,
u think ur all big and bad" so i stood up and started
yelling and screaming at him shit like "you really wanna
start with me don't u, u little faggot, c'mon kev, hit
me... hit me i dare u... u don't wanna piss me off kev...
i'm pretty angry as it is... wanna see an 8th grader with
three legs? Come over here and I'll shove my foot up ur
ass... Don't piss me off kev, ur pissing me off..." so he
started running and i chased him.. and then he LITERALLY
went and hid behind my mom what a pansy...

Nothing good has happened today. I got to see shanen for a
little while... but other than that nothing.. I have
science homework and i finished it in class while he went
over last nights homework... i had a math quiz i think i
did pretty good on it.. it was easy stuff but i couldn't
get one question and that could be my downfall... i got to
skip spanish... thank god!... because i had to set up my
classes for next year... I am in some decent ones... I
still gotta pick my elective... I'm not sure what to do..
theres nothing that really interests me... maybe auto? who
knows... who cares... and uhh what else happened today...
not much... missed the fucking concert i've been looking
foward to forever.... thats about it... i bet in school
monday people will ask if i went and when i say no i had no
ride they'll say "i coulda given u one" and i'll just break
down into fucking tears... it will happen, i swear... and
uhh.. also today my History/World Studies teacher came back
after an entire week of absense because she was sick... why
come back on a friday?? thats what I wanna know... and
uhhh... my archnemesis came back after a GREAT week of
absense... why did she come back on a friday?? why did she
have to come back ever? She couldn't just stay in hell or
wherever shes from... also today i punched the door in my
room after head butting it... i seriously think i dented
it... i'm not a very strong person so that'd be quite an
accomplishment... I had a boring fucking day all looking
foward to the concert in the evening and I'm ont even
there... I'm going to go insane! I WANTED TO GO MORE THAN
ANYTHING IN THE WORLD! I NEEDED TO GO TAKE PICTURES!
THAT's MY ONE SIMPLE JOB! BUT NOOOOO I can't be driven
anywhere tonite because of the fucking snow... and my lazy
ass mother... ugh i can't type anymore this is a long
fucking entry... no ones even gonna read it... but who
cares i need to get this all out


"A place inside my mind, a place I like to hide, but you
don't know the chances, what if I should die? A place
inside my brain, another kind of pain, but you don't know
the chances.... I'm so blind" ~ Blind by Korn




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