Melody

what's gonna happen next
2002-07-03 04:26:28 (UTC)

Afterthoughts

So I gave him the freakin letter. He asked me again while I
was there if I was gonna take the check. Ofcourse, I didn't.
But as soon as I got back into my car, something hit me. He
wouldn't do anything...stupid...would he? I mean, that's
some heavy shit to just give your dad to think about. I've
NEVER said any of those things to him before, and I
honestly thought I never would be able to, ya know? I just
think that there's a possibility of him realizing that he
really DID mess up and that he really has nothing but her.
And she's a bitch that he really can't stand 90% of the
time.
I don't think I could get that lucky.
I think he knows how bad it would be if he did something to
himself. Look how bad he took it when Joe hung himself. He
still isn't over that in my opinion, but how could you get
over a loss like that? Joe may not have been the best
person in the world, but dad loved him anyways. He was a
cool guy.
So I think that would prevent him from doing anything
stupid. I hope so. I do love him, more that what he
probably realizes. He just hurts me so much. I'm trying to
get past all this shit and move on though, and I knew I
wouldn't be able to gain any ground with that whole
situation holding me back.
It's hard to think that the divorce has been final for six
years as of today...
I don't know what I'd do if he ever did THAT. It would be
because of me. Paul would have no father. He may not be
perfect, but he still is our dad.


Mychele found out that Silvere is coming to visit. That's
pretty cool I guess. He'll be cool to talk to I think. I've
never had a face-to-face conversation with someone from
another country before. I think that makes me sound really
dumb and sheltered. haha.
What else? Oh...I have absolutely nothing to do for the
fourth. Everyone's either working or going out of town.
That sucks. I'll be stuck at home doing absolutely nothing.
Whoopee. Can you not FEEl the excitement bubbling out of
me? *sarcastic grin and a good roll of the eyes*
I'm going out with Leslie tomorrow, I think. That's gonna
be pretty weird. We used to be bestfriends for a couple
years, and we haven't really talked since like eight grade.
:/
And I only have one thing left to say...trolly chasers
baby...trolly chasers.




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