Okay Diary, here's the dealio. For the past month or so, i
had been dating Daniel. Blonde hair, brown eyes, completely
loveable Daniel. It started out that we met by a mutual
friend, Jason. Jason's a really good friend of mine, even
though he's a crackhead at times. The relationship started
off as nothing. I figured it was just a physical attraction
and that was the only reason he wanted to date me. But, he
started coming over more, and we talked more...and pretty
soon the word "love" came out of his mouth a few times. I
never really said it back. That's such a strong word. I
think i was headed towards that direction, but it really
wasn't that serious yet.
Out of nowhere, I'm talking to my friend Casey (yeah, we
have the same name) and he says that Daniel is cheating on
me. It really took me a while to process what he said. I was
at my friend mary's house crying about it.
okay, let's take a break and talk about mary. she's a
friend of mine that lives down the road. she's really
overweight, but she's cool. i'm over there 24/7. it's like
my second home. I'm like a part of their family. Kristin,
she's 12, is my a good friend of mine also. Reed, he's 15,
is kind of my friend, but we have different view points on
how he should treat his girlfriend, so we get into fights a
lot. Shana is Reid's girlfriend. She's 15, but we're a lot
alike. She's like me, cause she's always over there all the
time too. We're becoming best friends...but Reid treats her
like shit, and i don't understand why she puts up with him.
She says she loves him, and she could never live without
him...maybe i'm starting to understand how she feels.
Me and Mary went to go rent a movie. Daniel and his friends
were there, and we got into an argument about the fact that
his friends were all over me and all he was doing was
sitting there and smoking a cigarette, and not doing a thing
about it. And then i dumped him.
That night I got back to mary's house and Casey was there.
He comforted me, and Shana decided to be a match-maker and
told me to give him a chance because he really likes me. so
i did. Now i'm going out with Casey.
Daniel has called me up and emailed me. Basically, what
he's said is that he would never cheat one me. And that he's
falling in love with me. He told me that he thought he was
falling in love with me, but if i was going to treat him
like shit then he guesses he should just leave me alone.
That's exactly what he said. He's gone to raleigh for 2
weeks and he gave me that time to decide what i'm going to
do. I have been sitting up crying and thinking....And I've
come to a conclusion. Basically, I have to be with Daniel.
It's not fair to Casey for me to stay with him, when the
entire time I'm with him, I'm thinking about Daniel. I lay
awake at night and wish that Daniel was holding me instead
of Casey. When I kiss Casey, I wish that I would open my
eyes and it would be Daniel. The fact is that Daniel said i
stay with him or he never speak to me again. And right now,
at this point in my life, I couldn't be completely happy
unless i had Daniel in my life. I look at myself in the
mirror, and I look into my eyes...which are usually the
thing i like most about myself because they sparkle. But i
look at them now, and I see sadness. I want daniel. Now all
i have to do is tell Casey, and then wait for daniel to get
back and tell him.