Manny Fresh

Manny Fresh's Life
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2002-07-02 16:39:08 (UTC)

Entry From Last Nigth/Today

Dear Diary,
I Dunno Im Soo Serious!I Have Advice Alll Over The
Place And Half Tha People Dont Really Know Whats Going On
In My Life At The Moment!Talking To My Cuz Is One Thing And
Talking To Friends Is Another!My Cuz Tells Me Not To Give
Up And For Some Reason At First I Wasnt Cause I Had A Good
Feeling And Hope There Was Something There But Now....Geesh
Im Not Sure Anymore!I Can Feel Soo Happy One Moment And Soo
Weak The Next...Why?Whats Going Through Me Why Is It That I
Feel Like This?Why Am I Hurting So Much?Iam A Loser I Went
To The Park To Be Alone And Cry Out And For The First Time
I Tried And Tried And Just Couldnt! Is It Cause MY Tears
Arent Worth The Situation Or Cause Its Better This Way?All
I Know Is That I Dunno If I Can Take It Anymore. Ive Been
In Love Before But This Situation Im Not Sure If Its
Temporarely Or What?All I Know Is That Its A Strong Feeling
That I Havent Felt In A While. Perhaps Talking And Thinking
Bout It Makes It Rougher On Me. I Can Honestly Admit That
Most Peeps Think Of Me As A Hoe(Sometimes I Think About It
Myself Being Like That From The Situation Ive Been Involved
in And The Things I Do But,I Can Honestly Say That Thats
Not The Real Me Though And I Go Out Of My Way And Change
When Things Stop Or Dont Go My Way At All!) But The Ones
Who Truly Wanna Get To Know Me, Know THe Real Me And How I
Can Really Be. I Try To Be Serious,Change My Ways Of
Being,Actin, Try To Be Myself, And All For Who And What?Why
Should I Change For Someone When Theres Nutting in Return?I
Shouldnt Be Like That I Should Be The Way I Am No Matter
What And Quit Trying To Satisfy Others First While Im Not
Even Satisfied Myself!I Think I Should Just Break My Steps
Into Smaller Ones And Take It Slowy To See Where The Stair
Case Leads Too. "Many a man's reputation would not know his
character if they met on the street." - Elbert Hubbard[THIS
MORNING]Well i Woke Up Around 8:30! I Had No Summer School
Since I Took My Exam Yesteruday But I Gots To Go Back
Tomorrow For Second Semester Grrrrrr....Its Suck!Well I've
Been Scared Shitless!Doctors Keep Calling Me Bout This And
That And THats Never Happpened! I Know I Got Heart Problems
But They Said It Was Nuttin Bad Or Serious. So Why All Of A
Sudden Do They Need To Assign Me A Nurse To Check Up On Me
Every 6 Weeks Or WHy Check My Heart And Blood Pressure?It
Must Be A Mistake As They Tought It Was Themselves, But The
Again They Called Again This Morning Wanting To Schedule An
Appointment For Next Tuesday At 3 PM!Im Scurred IN A Way
even Though I Got Faith In Got And I Know Im Nice & Healthy
(I Need To Quit Those Bad Habits!)By The Way I Tought I Had
To Be In At Work 5 So I Made Plans Before That Well I Call
In To Make Sure And i Really Got To Be At 2 And She Wants
Me To Come In At 12:00 Cause They Need Me!Shes Crazy Wait
Till 2 Dear I Already Have To Ruin My Plans For This Shit!
My Day Is Going So..So.. IM Not Dissapointed,Depressed, Or
Anything I Just Need Some Time To Think Bout Everything On
Whats Right And Important For Me In Life Right Now. Well Im
fixing To Go And Get Ready For Work Cause Its The best Way
To Get My Mind Of My Problems. "Success usually comes to
those who are too busy to be looking for it" - Henry David
Thoreau


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