Thursday 7 June, 2001
Had lunch with Emi and we talked/ gossiping so much about
things that have been going on these days. Well, was my
treat anyway. Poor deyo is sick today. He's having high
fever since yesterday, since last 2 days actually till he
can't even think! What a fever. He's getting okay when I
called. Probably he's stillin joy and excitement having a
motorbike that he been dreamingof. It's not a superbike for
god's sake. It just a bike. Quite rare and different. It is
different but not sure whether it's rare or not.Who cares.
How rare it is? It's quiet and down-to-earth. Whatever.
You bet I got plenty of time spending it writing a journal.
Bosses are away at the site office monitoring the container
stuffing to be sent to Conakry. I got nothing else to do.
Got sick of surfing the net when the server is badly
'behaved'. All I can think right now is sleep, sleep, sleep
"How i wish..."
Monday 11 June, 2001
Weekend was entirely bored. Got stood up by bf and stuck at
home with maggot. Nothing much to say lately unless there's
a necessary thing to do so. I bought M. Nasir and Dave
Matthews Band's Everyday CD's for my deyo but he only took
the first one. What an appreciation. This gonna be the
last. DMB is pretty bit fast this time compared to the
previous. More weeping, melancholic opus. The jazz element
I was thinking to switch college last few days ago. Still
thinking and I wish I had someone who is really concerned
about this matter. Focusing on me. Alone. It's hard to say
if you already have a boyfriend. That reminds me of
someone. Hmm. Trying to avoid talking about my deyo. Gotta
"lazy entry from the lazy bum"
Wednesday 13 June, 2001
People I'm back cause I got plenty of time, obviously. I
had a big fight with my deyo last two days and guess what,
I dropped all my egos right on his knees begged him to stay
and I'm regretting for that. I was shocked and panicked and
I can't think much long to react. It was a regular trivial
mistake that he can't stand any longer anymore. My mistake.
He accused that. Obviously was his but I just played cool.
Wonder if I can bare this 'my mistake' any longer. I can't
imaginehow life without him would be and I'm not ready for
that kind of task. Not at thismoment.
I'm bored now and have nothing to do. I'm surfing the net
looking for a worthfulinformation on ABE. Found one but not
much helping. My mind pretty mess uptoday due to the
tragedy this morning (what else, the traffic). Was thinking
for abeauty spa, hot shower, massage, jakuzi. Hmmm. Deyo
going to pick me uptoday. Another argument. Another fight.
I don't wish it. I'm predicting it. Ha Ha.My 'horror'-scope
today said that today going to be a happy day for me.
Wonderwhat it's gonna be and what it's like. I'm looking
forward for the so-called 'happyday'. I think i'm a boring
person. I haven't make the survey but myself keeptelling me
i'm such a boring pig. I don't have any idea what i'm
"sad entry "
Monday 18 June, 2001
Sometimes I just don't understand men. Enough saying.
Don't ask me why and what, Mr. Diary. I think I got hooked
bythis man who thinks he does a right thing all the time
anddown-to-earthling real badly sometimes leaves me in
guilty andwrong. I had a slightly misunderstanding with my
deyo recentlyand he brought up thing about attitude and my
courtesy accusingme not 'feminine' enough to be someone's
femme. I got veryupset and darted he back. Until now he
calls but we end up havinga cold conversation instead. I
can't go on writing about him now.Feel like to cry. Will
write again, later. I miss him, though.