ICanOnlyBeHele3

Mysterious Attitude
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2002-07-02 14:49:37 (UTC)

Another chat wit Erica

Helena: we need to talk ASAP
Erica: You are not mad at me??
Helena: no
Helena: no reason to be
Erica: okay :)
Helena: why are u always quick to think im talkin to Paul
when I dont call u back?
Helena: George wouldn't stop callin me so i couldn't call
anyone
Erica: I meant to say george, he called me
Erica: he was like what is her problem
Helena: and no i haven't had any other boyfriend besides
Paul... he's like tha only "true" one
Helena: and yea i think he knowz about us
Erica: I know
Helena: and why dont u wanna hear about him?
Erica: I just dont
Helena: whats the reason?
Erica: I don’t know
Helena: ok sure
Erica: You know how I am right now, I feel bad that I
don’t have a boyfriend, and here you are with a "true"
boyfriend
Helena: well it isn't my fault....
Erica: You say that like you don’t care about me as a
friend.
Helena: i do.... that’s why it makes me mad....
Helena: it seems like you’re mad i have Paul or sumthin. I
don’t know whets going on
Helena: but your always thinking i only wanna talk to him,
hang with him, etc
Helena: and then u don’t want me talking about him? I
listened to u when u talked bout Dana and whatever else u
wanted to talk about
Erica: I aint mad at you or anyone, I just don’t like to
hear about you two, I am happy that you have a true
boyfriend, someone who you care about
Erica: you know just drop, I tried to be honest with you
but it aint working, so I guess I will talk to you later
Helena: i didn’t say anything
Helena: i just don’t want u to let him get in tha way of
our friendship
Helena: but it seems like that’s what your doing....
Helena: and u've been acting like that since he asked me
back out
Erica: you say I am quick to assume you are on the phone
with Paul, but you are always quick to assume how I feel,
or how I am trying to come across, but you never asked me
how I feel, or let me explain my self before you judge
Helena: well how do u feel?
Helena: that’s what im trying to find out
Erica: I already told you
Helena: ok
Erica: I mean you never have asked me how I felt, you
always tell people how I feel
Erica: you always tell Adrian "oh don’t tell her this
cause she will get mad" but when he tells me the stuff I
never get mad.
Helena: i don’t want to take the chance in getting u mad
Helena: that’s why i did that
Helena: that’s the way i am... i don’t like to get people
pissed off at me
Erica: So Adrian and you should be keeping stuff from me
just cause you "think" I will get mad??
Helena: were not keeping anything from u
Helena: not at least i don’t think so
Erica: What about Adrian thinking George was cute?? If I
had gotten mad, why would I get mad at you?
Helena: i didn’t want u to get mad at Adrian
Helena: that’s why
Erica: But I would have gotten mad at him, I would get
more mad because you are telling him not to tell me stuff,
I mean I CANT get mad at Adrian, it is like getting mad a t
a baby
Erica: He will end up telling me cause he knows me, and he
knows I wont get mad at him
Helena: well that’s over with and I know now....
Helena: so i wont do it anymore
Erica: but I said this to you one time before when I found
out Adrian thought George was cute
Helena: okay so Adrian thinks George is cute
Helena: me,u, and George all know that
Erica: Okay and....
Erica: I know we all know that
Helena: and i dunno
Erica: I don’t think you got what I was saying, but nm
Helena: since I’ve been talking to Paul it seems like me
and u have been drifting apart
Helena: and that is what i don’t understand
Helena: i mean okay i understand why u don’t wanna hear
about him now.... but i DONT understand why your letting
him get between me and u
Erica: I aint letting him get between us. When I told him
about what he said in the im and you asked him and he said
it wasn’t him you believed, he tried to come up with other
things like oh it was his cousin or whateva
Erica: say if I said he asked me out again and he said
that is not true, you would believe him
Helena: how do u know?
Helena: i already know how he is cuz my gurl busted him out
Erica: say if I said he asked me out again and he said
that is not true, you would believe him
Helena: how do u know?
Helena: i already know how he is cuz my gurl busted him
out
Erica: How Im I a letting him get between us??
Helena: for one thing.... like that one night when u was
upset. And i said i would call u. then call Paul... u paged
me and was like "just go talk to Paul... im going to bed”
sumthin like that
Helena: its like all u think is that I care only about
Paul
Helena: like he's the only other person in this world i
wanna talk to, spend time with...
Helena: and things between me and him are on tha rocks...
and i'm quite sure he knows.... so i gotta talk to him
about things... but it sure in the hell dont mean i can't
talk to other people as well
Helena: but whatever.... i wont tell u anything about any
boy i talk to/go out with from here on in...
Erica: lets fuck this whole thing, because what you just
said is fucking nonsense, you don’t understand me, and I am
not expecting you to understand me
Helena: how is it nonsense? That’s how it appears to me
Erica: but to always think negative about me is nothing
but bull shit
Helena: no i don’t.... im not thinking negative about u
now. That’s just how your coming off on me
Erica: I can go say that it appears that you are using
Paul, but I never say that or think that
Erica: because what something appears as is different then
what it really is
Helena: but your confusing me
Erica: I mean people could say since I went with Dana that
I am trying to be black
Erica: but that is not it
Erica: people can call me a hoe because I talk to allot of
guys but that is not true, is it??
Helena: no
Erica: people can say that I am a lesbian because I cut my
hair, but again it isn’t true
Helena: omg omg omg ok i got it damn
Helena: i might be a slowhead sumtimes... but damn not
that slow yet
Erica: people can sit there and say well since she looks
like this or acts like this or talks like this well she
must be this, but they need to look at there slefs first
Erica: I mean alot of people have judged me and always
will
Helena: this is going way off the subject. i just wanna
know why it bothers u why im with Paul so much... i mean
damn when u were going wit Dana I felt the same way.....
Your very pretty much more then me.... and u could have
anyone u want
Helena: and just since your being honest its my turn to be
Erica: I mean you do this all the time, last time we got
in a argument you assumed I felt a certain way and you
assume that I meant something negative
Helena: the reason I’m like the way I am with u. is b-cuz
I used to like u... i mean in that way
Helena: thats why i dont want u to be upset
Helena: in any form
Erica: me confused
Erica: I think i got it but i dont know
Helena: and when i like someone i try to protect them from
being hurt
Erica: oh....
Helena: thats why i kept things from them that i think
might make them upset at me
Erica: just call me when you ge offline it is a hell alot
easier to explain cause when people write stuff, people are
going to interpt it in there own way
Helena: and all this time u think im just judging u.... no
it isn't even like that ... its far from that.. I mean i
don’t quite understand u...
Helena: ok
Erica: believe me no one understand me, not even myself
Helena: the same goes for me
Helena: no one understands me either.... and that’s the
way i like it.... shit i don’t understand myself either...
that’s why i say i have different personalities so i can
maybe understand myself better
Erica: that is why when eva we have to "talk”. we have to
talk on the phone........cause if i write how i feel (or
visa versa(sp)) you might take it as something else
Helena: yea i know
Erica: well ttyl call me when you sign off..



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